Center Of My Heart
by Imagination Genius
Summary: She turned in my arms so she was facing me. "Bells do you feel pressured at all by me? Because, I would hate it if you did. I never want you to feel like that. I want us to always have a mutual understanding of each other and –"
1. Footballs and fluttered feelings

Alice and Bella

Alice P.O.V.

I got out of my last period trig class a few minutes late. I went to find Bella so I could take her shopping. For a girl with one of the best human bodies I've ever see she was really shy about showing it off.

As I was walking down the three stairs next to the ramp I got a short vision. Emmett and Jasper were throwing a foot ball and Emmett threw it over Jasper's head just higher than a normal could jump and Jasper was forced to let it sail past him in efforts to keep the human façade. Bella walked with her head in a book she had just checked out from the library. Oblivious to the foot ball careening toward her head at a speed that was sure to leaveher with a bruise if not knock her down and give her a concussion.

As I came out of my vision I searched for Edward surely if he was in the vicinity he saw my vision through my thoughts and was going to intervene. Edward isn't anywhere around. I saw Bella walking and reading like in her vision and she saw the football darting towards Bella. I ran as fast as I could without attracting attention.

I wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and lifted her while I spun us away from the impact site just as the football sailed past me.

Bella was completely lost at what had just happened and was slightly dizzy by the sudden swirling motion. I placed her on her feet but didn't let go of her waist. I had my body completely pressed into her back and I was suddenly hyper aware of every part of us that was connected. And her scent was one of the most tantalizing things I'd ever smelt.

As she finally regained her composure I loosened my grip but didn't completely take my hands off her was. I noticed how soft she felt even through her clothes. And the way her body seemed to relax against mine when she realized it was me holding her.

"Bella! Are you okay?" Emmett and jasper came over shouting at the same time. Jasper looked at me quizzically probably wondering about all the emotions being emitted from my body right now, but at the moment nothing was as important as Bella.

"I think so… what happened? I was just walking and then Alice had me and we were spinning I think…?" she trailed off looking back at me and noticing that my hands where still on her waist.

I looked down and dropped my hands ashamed of the thoughts running through my mind about my best friend. My Best Human Friend. My Best Human Friend and My Brother's Girlfriend.

"I had a vision of the football hitting you and you possibly getting a concussion." Although I didn't see the ball actually hit her it helped explain to her why I reacted so fast. I turned to Emmett and Jasper eyes blazing realizing that they where the reason my Bella almost got hurt… wait a minute did I just say _my_ Bella. No she wasn't _my_ Bella she was _Edward's_ and I would berate the boys for almost causing him stress waiting for her to be patched up in the hospital.

"What the hell were you thinking throwing a football in a parking lot full of humans? Are you that dense? I mean I expect this kind of carelessness from Emmett but Jazz I thought you would have had more sense. Dammit!" Jasper looked slightly offended, and Emmett just looked taken aback at my reaction.

I turned back to Bella who was standing there still slightly confused. "Bella are you sure you're okay?" she nodded. "Where is Edward?"

"I cut my self and the smell hit him unexpectedly right before biology and he left to hunt he said he'd come by the house later."

"Oh. Well that's fine because now you can go shopping with me." I was using this shopping trip to get away from the guys now. I didn't know what I was feeling and I felt uneasy being around jasper while I was feeling it.

"ALICE! We just went shopping last week. There is no possible way that you could need anything else. I refuse to go on another one of your shopping expeditions. They called the credit card company to make sure you hadn't stolen the card because they were suspicious of the amount of money you seemed to be spending. You bought more than enough stuff more an army of pixie to wear what else could you possibly need?"

"I don't need anything, that's why we're going shopping for you. There's no use in arguing because I've already seen your arguments and I also saw you agree so can we just go." I looked up at her with my trade mark pout just to make sure there was no argument. She agreed.

I turned to jasper and Emmett. "Please let Esme know that I took Bella shopping in Port Angeles and I'll be home later."

Emmett who was already backing away, scared that I might try to get him to come along and carry the bags stopped and said "sure sprite." Then he looked at Bella and grinned "hope you have a good time" and with that he walked away. I heard Bella groan behind me.

"Jazz can you take Bella's truck home. We're taking the Volvo seeing as Edward is gone." He nodded still looking at me with that quizzical look.

I reached to give jasper a hug and he, to my surprise, he wrapped both arms around me, picked me up and kissed me with more passion than I was used to him showing in public. Then he whispered so softly in my ear "when you get home I think we should talk." I noticed Jasper holding me didn't have the same calming effect that it had so many times before. And as ashamed as I am to admit it, I was longing for the arms of another.


	2. Defining Beauty

Alice P.O.V.

"Bella the shirt isn't that revealing just try it on"

"Alice I refuse to try that on it looks like some type of mid evil torture device" the shirt I wanted her to try on was a jet blue silk low cut with small spikes down the side and thin chains adorning the back.

"Bella I need to see how it fits and beside it would go perfect with the skirt you bought." if I weren't already dead the glare she gave me probably would have killed me instantly.

"I didn't buy anything you demonic pixie" I had to laugh at her determination although she was going to give in; she almost always gave me what I wanted. She was so adorably sexy when she was upset.

STOP!! I can't have these thoughts. Besides I don't like girls. And besides I had me Jazz. And he was all I would ever need. At least that's what I had been telling myself since we left school.

"Bella, can you please try this shirt on? For me and my deranged fashion obsession?" I looked at her with my puppy dog pout

"Ugh! The things I do for you and your brother." she said rolling her eyes

"Thank you" I squealed like a school girl handed her the shirt and pushed her towards the dressing rooms. I went back to sprinting around the store picking out items that would look gorgeous on Bella.

She suddenly got a vision of Bella tangled in the chains of the shirt. I made my way back to the dressing room and knocked on the door. "Bella are you okay?"

"No I am not thanks to you and your death trap of a shirt."

I chuckles slightly "unlock the door and I'll help you."

Bella sounded absolutely mortified when she answered "you can't come in Alice! I have no shirt on."

So many different thoughts ran through my mind when she said that. All thoughts I would have had a hard time explaining had Edward been able to hear them or if jasper been able to feel how aroused I got at her words. Damn it! What is this girl doing to me? I'm usually in control of my feelings. And these are feelings I shouldn't have to control because I should be having them. Through my jumbled train of thought I was still aware of the scrambling going on behind the door.

"Bella, I've seen you naked before. Please open the door before you hurt yourself. You're not going to be able to do get out of it without ripping it."

"See why I shouldn't have been forced to try on this death trap."

"Okay babe, I'm sorry. Just let me help you out of it and we'll leave." I waited until I heard the lock click then I pushed the door open.

I had to laugh somehow Bella managed to tangle her left arm in the shirt and then get her hair caught in it too.

"Stop laughing we can't all have freakishly gorgeous bodies, especially us humans." Bella's cheeks flamed when she was finished. I was actually upset at her words. She's always so negative about herself, and for no reason at all. She is one of the sexiest creatures I've ever seen.

Fuck! Stop thinking like that.

I sighed and stepped into the small changing area.

"What's wrong?" obviously I looked more forlorn than I thought. I moved to untangle Bella's arm and then the shirt from her hair. I tried to ignore the question but she wouldn't let me. The girl can be so stubborn at times.

When she was completely free she spun around and her scent swirled full force around me. I felt my control slip momentarily but then she spoke and her voice brought me back.

"Alice what's wrong? Why did you sigh like that a second ago?"

"It was more like 17 seconds ago actually" hoping she would drop the subject. No such luck

"Are you going to answer the question?" she looked at me expectantly.

I couldn't tell her the real reason so I settled for what initially brought the thought to my head.

"You Bella you're what's wrong. It honestly bothers me the way you view yourself. Especially in comparison to us."

Bella looked at me confused. "Bella turn around and look in the mirror" she did what I asked "now what do you see?"

She looked at the mirror briefly then to the ground. A blush painted her cheeks and traveled down towards her chest. My eyes followed for a second before I caught myself. "Well Bella what do you see?"

"A completely boring girl standing next to one of the most beautiful creatures in existence, even if she does have an unhealthy obsession with shopping."

I wrapped my hands her waist and she shivered at my touch. She still hadn't put her shirt back on yet.

"Would you like to know what I see" she looked up at me. " I see the most perfect creation; innocent, pure and unbelievably hot."

Did I just say that out loud? Oh well maybe she won't notice. "I don't see that when I look at myself or any others of my kind. Your beauty is used in the most natural and innocent of ways, to attract and love. Most of us look at ourselves and see it as a tool used for monstrous purposes. Sure it attracts but it attracts to kill" she hadn't realized she was shaking until Bella said it.

"Alice are you okay?"

"Yes. It's just difficult for all of us to see you put yourself down like this, when anyone one of us in my family would give anything to have the natural human beauty you hold. To not have to look at ourselves and know that the only thing we're designed for is killing. Even now standing here with you in what should be a normal embrace of friends, while I can hear your blood rushing through your vein and feel your warmth I have to fight with the monster inside of myself. Your perception of yourself and us is completely twisted."

"I don't believe so." She looked at me with defiance. She really can be stubborn

Not really wanting to have this conversation and realizing like I said I was fighting with myself not to hurt Bella, especially in such a small space with her extremely tantalizing scent.

"Okay let just agree to disagree. Get your shirt on I'll be waiting out side."

Standing outside Bella's dressing room I couldn't get thoughts of Bella to leave my mind. What exactly is Bella doing to me?


	3. Jasper's Threat

**A/N: I had alot of trouble with this chap and it's real short. I really dont like the way it came out but i'm open to suggestions. review and tell me your thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing Everthing Belongs to SM**

I dropped Bella off and drove to my house. I had planned to drop off Edward's car and go 'hunting' by myself.

I needed to think.

Since I left Bella my thoughts had been consume with nothing but thoughts of her. I just needed to figure out what these thought meant and why they were eliciting such feelings.

As I pulled into the massive driveway Jasper was leaned against my Porsche waiting fro me.

I had completely forgotten about Jasper and I felt my guilt consume me for a few seconds before I got my emotions under control.

I parked the Volvo and stepped out of the car. Jasper flashed to my side immediately. I tried to keep my emotions in check. He spoke first.

"So… would you care to explain the various emotions of lust I felt from you for Isabella Swan this afternoon? Or why you were so eager to get away with her alone this afternoon? Or why you feelings have been in such disarray around her the last few weeks..."

When he said this last part I froze and started thinking. Have I been having these feelings for this long and I'm just noticing it. Damn Jazz and his empathy.

"Hello?! Earth to Alice. Anything going in there you want to share with the class?"

I realized I was quiet for too long and I notice the edge to Jasper's voice. He was upset and I really didn't want to piss him off any further. "Yes Jazz?"

"Would you care to answer any of my questions? Inquiring minds want to know." He was staring at me with his arms crossed across his chest I realized that he was implying that I was having an affair with Bella. Although I may have been having some strange feelings for the girl jazz was my husband and I couldn't possibly hurt him like that. And besides, Bella doesn't want me like I want her.

No! I don't want her. She's like my sister and Jasper is the Love of my Life

"Jazz there's nothing going on between me and Bella. And I'm slightly offended that you think I'm capable of hurting you like that. I honestly don't know why I had the feelings toward Bella earlier. But even if they meant something which they don't" although I was starting to think that wasn't completely true, "I would never… I could never hurt you Jazz."

Jasper came and wrapped both of his arms around my small frame and held me tightly to his chest and pressed his lips to the space below my ear before he whispered.  
"I'm glad you said that cause I refuse be without you. And I wouldn't be responsible for my actions if you left me. Especially for a human."

He kissed my cheek then let me go and walked away. I was stunned at his words I knew jasper loved me and he was slightly possessive but I didn't think he had it in him to hurt someone just because of me. And especially Bella.

If I didn't have a reason to stay away from Bella I had one now. I couldn't and wouldn't let Bella be hurt because of my inconvenient feelings.

I just couldn't believe that jasper was being so irrational. Well actually I could believe that but hadn't he thought about the implications of what hurting Bella would do not only to me but to the rest of the family.

If jasper hurt Bella Edward was sure to kill him and I couldn't live with having either of them hurt over nothing that's what these feelings were nothing.

I ran from the house I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I couldn't let anything happen. The consequences where too severe.


	4. Whose POV

**A/N: Sorry if you thought this was the next chap but I need a little help from the readers. I'm a little bit stuck as to where to go. So it up to you readers who's P.O.V. the next chap is in it can be Emmett, Edward, jasper or Bella. Don't worry we'll be back to Alice's P.O.V. very soon but I think I may need to switch the P.O.V. for the plotline. review and let me know what you think**

**-****Diamond**


	5. I can't Let her Go

**A/N: So Our POV winner is jasper sory every body else who asked for someone else. i'll try to work the others into the story later. thanks to all my readers and especially reviewers. much love e-kisses and e-hugs to you all.**

**jasper's POV**

"Emmett, don't throw it so high there are humans around" I told my brother in a volume only vampires would be able to hear. He never took these things into consideration. He had been the reason for so many of our moves. You would think it would be me considering the fact that I have the least self control of everyone in my family but alas Emmett and his carelessness.

"Come on 'jazzy' what's life without a little risk. Don't be such a wuss" he teased using the name I only let Alice get away with calling me. Then he threw it well over my head and I knew jumping that high to get it would result in too many suspicions so I let it sail past me - with much effort I might add because it is against our nature to throw a competition no matter how trivial

"Emmett you idiot! Look what you did?" we watched as the ball sailed over a group of students with massive force behind it. As the ball started to fall it was headed straight for Bella.

Me and Emmett started running towards her at our fastest human pace we saw Alice grab her and move just before the ball hit her.

I was grateful for Alice's visions and her being so close to Bella until I noticed the feelings coming off of her. The past 3 weeks I've been feeling subtle emotions of love, adoration and lust from Alice I wouldn't have a problem with that except that they weren't for me.

Me and Emmett rushed to the girls at the same time we asked "Bella! Are you okay?" I looked at Alice in wonder. The emotions she was giving of kept changing rapidly.

The Human girl looked up still slightly dazed and answered.

"I think so… what happened? I was just walking and then Alice had me and we were spinning I think…?" she trailed off with an amazed look at Alice and then her eyes traveled to Alice's hand which were - to my complete displeasure – still on the younger girls waist.

Alice reluctantly let her hands fall and then looked at the ground ashamedly.

What did she have to be ashamed of? Unless… no she wouldn't… but that would explain all the emotions… but she loves me… but is she still in love with me… she is my life surely I am hers too.

I felt myself getting angry. I had to calm down it wouldn't due any good to lose control in a parking lot of humans. During my musing she had started to rant but I missed most of it. I caught her last few words and it didn't sit to well with me.

"…I thought _you_ would have had more sense. Dammit!" she had never talked to me this way and I was appalled that this insignificant human could make my Alice speak to me like this.

I tried to pick up emotions from Bella but the only emotion she was giving off was confusion. She still hadn't calmed down from the incident a few moments ago. Alice turned back to Bella and started to discuss going shopping. She seemed almost desperate for the girl to agree.

After Bella agreed to her demands, she turned back to Emmett and I. Emmett had been trying to sneak off slowly so he wouldn't be persuaded into going with them and carrying the bags.

She looked at him and said "Please let Esme know that I took Bella shopping in Port Angeles and I'll be home later."

He said something back but I wasn't really listening to him. My complete attention was focused on the small pixie like girl in front of me. She was completely ecstatic to be going 'shopping' with Bella, even more so than normal.

I didn't want to believe that Alice was cheating on me with Bella but all the signs were there and I couldn't just ignore them.

She turned her attention to me then "Jazz can you take Bella's truck home. We're taking the Volvo seeing as Edward is gone."

I nodded. She reached up to give me a hug and I surprised her. By wrapping my arms around her and picked her up. I leaned down and kissed her right in front of Bella to show that she was _my_ woman and I wasn't giving up with out a fight, I knew Alice wasn't used to my open displays of affection but at the moment I didn't care.

I was having a lot of dangerous thoughts about the human in front of me and I need the comfort of _my_ lover's arms.

I was shocked to notice that Alice didn't relax into my arms the way she normally would.  
"When you get home I think we should talk"

Before I completely lost it and did something rash I would give her the chance to explain to me what was going on

********************************************************************

I had been waiting in the garage for about an hour when I heard Edwards Volvo. I sensed Alice's confusion and self consciousness.

As she pulled up and spotted me her emotions quickly switched to guilt before calming. That reaction in itself confirmed my suspicions. It took all I had not to go racing to Bella's house in that moment.

As I got control on my urge to kill the insufferable human that was stealing my Alice from me, Alice parked the car. When she stepped out I was at her side immediately.

I looked in her eyes and immediately started asking the questions that had been burning holes in my soul the whole time she was out doing only god what.

"So… would you care to explain the various emotions of lust I felt from you for Isabella Swan this afternoon? Or why you were so eager to get away with her alone this afternoon? Or why you feelings have been in such disarray around her the last few weeks..."

She stood there looking shocked at my words. I noticed a spark of happiness the second I mentioned Bella's name. It angered me she had never had these emotions about me and the emotions I had felt towards me have been slowly starting to taper off.

"Hello?! Earth to Alice. Anything going in there you want to share with the class?"

"Yes Jazz?"

"Would you care to answer any of my questions? Inquiring minds want to know." I asked with my arms crossed. Staring at her intently waiting to see just how she was going to explain herself.

I briefly felt the confusion and self consciousness come back before she masked it with calm façade again and answered me.

"Jazz there's nothing going on between me and Bella. And I'm slightly offended that you think I'm capable of hurting you like that. I honestly don't know why I had the feelings toward Bella earlier. But even if they meant something which they don't, I would never… I could never hurt you Jazz."

Although I was mad and still had doubt about her feelings for Bella she was still my heart and I could see the sincerity in her eyes. With all that said I still felt the need to take precautionary action.

I moved to wrap my arms around her and firmly crushed her against my chest whispering to her.

"I'm glad you said that cause I refuse be without you. And I wouldn't be responsible for my actions if you left me. Especially for a human." With that I pressed my lips softly to her cheek and walked away. I sensed her shock and fear of my words.

Though I had feelings and thoughts of killing the young human I could never do that to Edward but Alice never needed to know that my words were just an empty promise. The most I would do is tell Edward he'll charm Bella into his arms again and I'll have my Alice back all to my self. No blood shed needed.

**A/N: I just couldn't make jasper a complete ass. so i tried to compromise hope you liked it. review and tell me what you think. constructive criticism appreciated.**


	6. Conversations, Revelations, Feelin Alive

_**A/N: Finally got this chapter up. I went through so Many diferent Emotions writing this chap. I'm emotionally drained. BTW this is the longest chap so far so i hope it makes up a bit for the wait**_

_**  
**_Over the next few weeks I avoided all physical contact with Bella. I was never around her alone and I was sure to keep my emotions and thoughts in check.

The problem was that it was becoming much more difficult to hide my emotions. It seemed the more I tried to deny these feelings the stronger they became. Sitting at lunch with Jasper's arms wrapped around me, I watch as Edward holds her the wrong way and makes decisions for her and it completely pisses me off.

When Jasper would pick up on my moodiness I would play it off as just being upset that I was stuck in school when I could be shopping. He accepted my answer but I don't think he believed me too much.

Ever since the talk with Jasper I've been starting to notice things that I just honestly can't stand about him and because of it I've been spending a lot of time away from him. I never thought my feelings for Jasper would change but I feel like they have.

When I first saw Jasper in my vision it was about a day after I had awakened, I had just finished my first meal and I felt guilty. I had no idea what was happening to me and for awhile after I thought I was crazy but when I saw him his presence just put me at peace. I was still scared of what I might be capable of but I felt that finding this man who was already searching for me would make everything better.

At the moment I was sitting in the highest tree I could find. I had been getting small flickers of vision about me and Bella: Bella resting against me while we watch pretty in pink, Bella giggling while I tickle her feet, and just different small scenarios that were common between us. We had always been able to be close like that but lately I had been trying to stray to keep her safe. I think she might be starting to notice the distancing but if it keeps my Bella safe then it's worth it no matter how much it hurts.

I had given up on trying to not think of Bella like that. I had resigned it to be a crush that could have deadly consequence if pursued. I could live a perfectly sane and simple life and Bella could be happy with my brother. I would never have to complicate her life and most of all no one would ever get hurt.

I got a vision of Emmett coming to find me. My big brother the teddy bear in grizzly's clothes. The vision showed that he was going the wrong way. I pulled out my cell and called him.

"Hey Kitty where are you?"

I laughed a little at the nick name he had given me the first day we met. "You're going the wrong way turn around and run about 35 miles west of the house. I'm in the tallest tree." I hung up

Emmett has always been my favorite brother. Edward and I only have a bond because of our talents. With Emmett our bond is genuine; there is no catalyst needed to keep us friendly. Emmett although he is know for being playful he is also a protective and caring older brother.

No matter how convincing my lie is he can always see through it and knows when there's something bothering me. That's why I wasn't surprised or annoyed when I had the vision of him coming to find me. I already knew it was only a matter of time before he came, and at the moment I wanted to see him and vent all my problems and get a big bear hug from Emmett then listen to him make some sort of crude joke that would make me laugh and free my mind of stress for a few minutes.

I heard Emmett before I saw him. For a vampire he really hasn't grasped the idea of quietness. No matter how graceful he is I don't think he'll ever be able to be quiet it's just not in him.

I saw him jump into a near by tree and swing off the highest branch, launching himself up at me I moved before his body crashed into mine. He grazed just over the branch I was sitting on in a perfect somersault, wrapped his hand around the base of the tree and ended up on the branch facing me.

"I have to say Emmett I give that a 9.5 you're getting better." He looked at me with a mock hurt expression

"Come on, that was at least a 9.8. I almost had you that time"

"Not even close but it nice that you're enthusiastic. So what's up why were you looking for me?" she already knew the answer but wanted to hear him say it.

"Like you don't already know."

"Yea, I do but I wanna have a conversation not just answer thoughts from my visions."

He looked at me seriously then smirked and I knew instinctively that I wasn't going to like his next question or statement. "Soooo… tell me Kitty, how long have you been in love with _her_?"

I stared into his sparkling gold eyes with the biggest disbelieving expression ever. I was expecting him to ask me why I wasn't 'given it' to Jasper. That's what my vision was about he changed his mind at the last minute to catch me off guard I hate it when he does that.

"What are you talking about? I'm not in love with anyone except Jasper" I knew the lie was unconvincing to my own ears so it would never come close to registering as truth to Emmett.

"Come on Ali. This is me you're talking to. You know Emmett, your giant brute of a teddy bear. I know when you're lying. So be honest, if not for me for yourself. I know your in love with Bella I'm not as dazed and confused as everyone thinks."

I sighed loudly and looked at him with a resigned look. "How long have you known?"

"A while now but I want to know is how long have you been aware that your in love with her and how long are you going to keep fighting your feelings?"

"Do you remember the day you and Jasper were being reckless and I moved Bella out of the way of your concussion inducing football?" he nodded. "That's when I realized that I had more than friend feelings. I wasn't sure what they meant but I knew it was different."

Emmett was just sitting there looking at me I guess he was just taking in what I had confessed. He then looked at me tentatively and I knew what his next question was going to be but I let him ask it anyway know that my answer for it was unsure.

"What… I mean how strong…" I laughed at his stammering. He was really adorable when he was unsure of himself. And it was sweet that he tried to state his question so it didn't upset me, Edward would have just been blunt and cruel with his questions had I been talking to him. That's why Emmett was my favorite brother.

I looked up at the massively muscled up vampire and smiled reassuringly. "It's okay Emmett you ask your question I won't be upset. I'm honestly surprised no one else has asked but then again no one else is as bold as you are." He laughed his loud booming laugh. (Like I said he can't be quiet)

After a few moments his laughing quieted "So Kitty… what really is going on with you and Jasper? You're never around him and you don't have that sparkle that you used to have when you were around him. And he's always so on edge. When ever someone mentions your name he gets all high strung and leaves the room mumbling that he has something important he needs to do especially if Edward is in the immediate vicinity."

I sighed then took in a strained unnecessary breath, pulled my legs up to my chest and was quiet. I wanted to sob because I knew that when I answered Emmett's question I would be admitting something that I tried so hard to avoid. I looked away from Emmett and breathed in deeply trying to control the sobs threatening to take over my body.

Emmett must have noticed because he slid across to the branch I was sitting on and gathered my petite frame in a bone crushing hug.

I couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down in his arms. I sobbed harder then ever before, shaking ferociously. If it wasn't for Emmett holding me, my tremors would have completely knocked me out of my tree.

"Alice it's okay. You don't have to answer if you're not ready. I was just wondering I didn't mean to hurt your feelings in any way. I'm so, so sorry kitty." Emmett kept babbling on like this but not once did he tell me to stop sobbing or that there was no reason to cry. He just sat and hugged me being the best big brother any vampire could ask for.

Once I was able to gain a semblance of composure, I looked up at Emmett and took a deep breath before getting ready to ask him a question before answering his. "Emmett, do you believe in fate and soul mates?"

"Well I'm not sure. I think everything happens for a reason. I mean if I wasn't mauled by a bear rose probably wouldn't have given me a thought. But looking at it I realize only now that her being a vampire and me at the time being a bleeding human, it could have gone horribly wrong. It was only her decision that changed anything in that situation. So I have to say we decide our future, you know better than anybody that the slightest change of heart could completely alter the future. As for soul mates I like our _darling_ brother Edward don't completely believe we still have souls therefore we can not have soul mates."

I thought about this for a minute completely shocked. "So what about you and Rosalie! You can't honestly tell me that she doesn't complete you."

He laughed at a little before answering me. "You're right I can't honestly tell you that she doesn't complete me. She does. But I don't think of her as my soul mate but more as my salvation. I walk this road of trying to be the best I can, because of her. With out her I'd probably be even more vicious than James was. But I find that with her in my life I want to live better and be better. I want her to be the person she believes I can be. I try to make her proud to say that I'm her man. Oh yeah I'm a big romantic" he joked lightening up the mood. I laughed with him but then grew quiet thinking about what he said I realize that I feel exactly like he does but my feelings are not for my husband.

I looked down at my feet ashamedly a whispered barely audible even to a vampire. "I feel that way to… but not about Jasper." I finished biting my bottom lip.

He looked at me with a sympathetic face. "Is that why you've been avoiding the both of them?"

"No not entirely… but that's a small part of it."

"So what's the big part?" Emmett looked so confused I would have laughed at his expression if the situation had been different.

"I can't tell you cause if I do you'll over react."

Emmett huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. He looked remarkably like a large five yr old who just lost his favorite toy. "You know I have more control over myself than I used to."

"Sure Emmett, I know you well enough to know that you will definitely over react. You wouldn't speak to me for a week when I said I hated the color of you jeep."

"That was different you went and had it repainted without even asking me."

"Emmett all I did was have them take sparkles and darken the tint so the red shines more and you love it so don't even go there. Anyway what man drives around with shimmering candy apple on their jeep?"

"The kind of man who lets his girlfriend pick out the color of his jeep so she would… Whatever that was then this is now. Why are you avoiding Jasper and Bella? I mean I can understand why you're avoiding them but what is this, bigger picture you speak of?" he stared at me pointedly awaiting my answer.

"Okay but if I tell you, you have to promise not to say _anything_ to anybody. Not even Rose."

"Okay Kitty I promise now what's the secret."

I took a deep breath and started to explain the conversation between me and Jasper. "So the day I realized my feeling for Bella, me and Jasper had a talk when I came home from shopping with Bella. At the time I wasn't exactly sure what my feelings meant but Jasper said I had been having them longer than I had realized – damn his empathy – but I told him that he was the only guy I loved and Isabella swan was only my best friend nothing more. I thought my reassurance would pacify him at least until I could figure out what was going on with my feelings but then he said that he wouldn't be responsible for his actions especially if I left him for a human." I could see Emmett tense and heard the growl building in his chest. But I just continued on. "I don't want to believe that he would really hurt Bella but Emmett I love her too much to ever take a chance that grave. And if keeping her safe means I have to keep my distance than, so be it. I can't have her hurt over me. And this way no one gets hurt; she stays happy with Edward and I stay Jasper the way it's supposed to be."

Emmett looked completely livid. I got a short vision of the future which showed me what he was thinking. I couldn't let him do that it would completely ruin our family not to mention Bella and Edwards's relationship. I wasn't so worried about mine as I had already succeeded in fucking it up myself I snapped out of my vision to see Emmett preparing to jump from the tree in search for Jasper.

"Emmett wait!" I yelled grasping his shoulder just as he leaped down causing him to pull me down with him. We both instinctively reached out for a branch to stop our 60 ft. fall.

Once we had our balance Emmett rounded on me with furious glare. "What Alice! What do I have to wait for? Unless you had a vision telling me that Jasper got caught in a gasoline and match factory we have nothing to discuss. I _know_ you don't honestly think that I'm just going to sit around while there's an imminent threat to both of my little sisters do you?" He looked at me with challenge in his eyes as if daring me to tell him he was wrong to care.

"Emmett just listen to me for one minute please. I know you care, but I also know that if you go find Jasper which in my vision you did" he smiled evilly at this "and the two of you start a shouting match that will eventually develop into a fight it will completely ruin everything. When the reasons for the fight come out it will tear apart the family."

He looked at me like I had grown two more heads. "Mary Alice Brandon! Why do you always put everybody before yourself!!! Jasper's threat is what would be breaking apart this family. Just because you fell in love with a human hot topic does not give him the right to threaten either one of you."

When he said this it just dawned on me that Jasper's threat was vague and could have been intended for me and not Bella. It shook me to the core to realize that the man I thought I had been in love with for the past several decades may have possibly threatened my life. I suddenly realized what Emmett meant about me putting everyone else before myself.

In that moment everything I thought I had known about Jasper had shifted. And everything I thought I knew of myself came into a clearer focus. I realized the reason I didn't recognize my feelings for Bella in the beginning was because I knew that Edward didn't want to be alone anymore and felt it necessary to let him have her. I realize that I was with Jasper because he needed me to bring him a second chance and I did that.

I realized that the only times I ever really did what was my choice was when I made Bella go shopping with me and even then I focused on her human needs. She tried to tone down her displeasure to let me have fun and enjoy my release and found that that was the only real time I felt alive and happy, at any other time I merely existed to do for others.

Right then I could care less what Emmett planned to do to Jasper the only thing I needed was to see Bella and hug her and thank her for making me feel alive. I would figure everything else out later.

I hoped down from the tree using the branches Emmett looked at me like I had gone crazy. "Where the hell are you going?" he yelled at me from the branch we were on.

I couldn't help but laugh. There was a sense of freedom that came with my revelation and I was reveling in it. "I'm going to feel alive." I shouted back as I hit the ground. I know I didn't have to shout but it felt go so I did.

He gaped at me in confusion for a second then spoke again with a slight edge to his voice. "What about Jasper? "

I knew I should have told him not to do what he was thinking because it was going to lead to huge problems but at the moment I couldn't find it in me to care so I said what I was feeling

"At the moment I honestly can't find it in me to care right now." And with that I ran off to find the most wonderful creature to ever walk this earth.


	7. Touchy Feely

AN: i had to keep re-writing this because i wasn't sure how far i wanted them to go i didnt want them to just jump in to anything

Dedication: as promised i'm dedicatingthis to you i Have Cuillenism. thank you for continuously updating with kind and funny words. 

Possibly more dedications for those of you who find it in your heart to review. And now i present chapter six. please be nice i worked really hard on this.

Chapter 6  
Bella POV

Edward just left he'll be back later on tonight. It's our routine; he stays until nine o'clock then leaves until Charlie goes to bed, then he sneaks back in through my window.

Our routine works for us though it has started to get boring. I love Edward and our relationship has survived so much but I just don't think I feel the spark anymore. It just feels like the light around him has started to dim.

I feel like I'm just in the relationship because I know he loves me and I want to be in a relationship. I love him but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. My heart doesn't feel as if it will beat out of my chest when I'm around him anymore. I don't shudder from his touch or close proximity. I feel like I'm forcing myself to believe that I still love him. I mean yes he was my infatuation for a while but now I'm over it. When I kiss him now it feels like I'm kissing my brother, I'm not into it anymore.

I wish I had someone to talk to about this but my best friend is avoiding me and I can't be sure why. I don't know what I did to set her off but she won't even stay in the same room with me for more than five seconds. She barely even acknowledges my presence when I'm at the house and I haven't been forced to go shopping in over three weeks.

Now I can't really get mad at the shopping because I hate shopping, trying on clothes and Bella Barbie in general but I do miss the time I spent alone with my Alice. Her bubbly personality was infectious and when I'm around her I feel something that I don't feel with anyone else not Edward or Jake or anyone. I just feel alive. I only go because it makes her happy but that's what makes it enjoyable. The smile she get when she is picking out clothes and comparing styles. Its like nothing else in the world.

I had made it up in my mind that I was going to talk to my Alice tomorrow and apologize for whatever it was that I had done and get my best friend back. I couldn't take her being mad at me. It hurt even more than when Jake wouldn't speak to me directly following the Cullen's return to Forks. I had gone weeks without her soft tinkling laugh that sounded like silver wind chimes.

I gathered my stuff for a shower. I planned on taking a long shower. I was standing directly under the water letting it run through my hair and down my body I started to think about Edward. I realized that by staying in this relationship I was only leading him on. In the long run he would be hurt more if I stayed with him and was unhappy then if I just told him about how I felt now.

I was just afraid that when I told him how I felt he would leave again and take the whole family with him. I couldn't survive if they were to leave me again especially my alice. Even with this small distancing we had gone through over the last few weeks she was still one of the most important people in my life. Then there was as alice called him 'the big brute of a teddy bear' Emmett, who happened to be the best big vampire brother ever. Then there was Esme and Carlilse and the rest of the family and I would miss them so much. I don't think I could survive their departure a second time.

My thoughts drifted to what I was going to say to Alice tomorrow when I talked to her and how I would get her to stay around long enough to make her listen to me. I realized she's probably already seen that I was going to try and get some answers from her and I just had to hope that she could stand being around me enough that she would just skip school all together. That thought made my heart pinch. I really couldn't take being without my best friend anymore.

I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. I dried off and wrapped myself in a towel. I went in my room and felt the cool breeze coming in through the window and shivered. I could still hear Charlie down stairs yelling at some game on TV. So I knew Edward wasn't here yet. I paid no attention to the rest of the room as I dropped my towel and moved to my dresser to get some underwear.

I heard a low growling behind me coming from the direction of my bed and I froze. I slowly turned around to see the tiny gorgeous pixie vampire that had been taking over my thoughts for the last few weeks. Normally I would have felt self conscious standing completely naked in front of this vampire that was the epitome of beauty but the only thing I could feel was relief and happiness. There was relief because she obviously wasn't avoiding anymore and happiness because even if only for a brief few moments Alice Cullen was sitting in my bedroom with me.

I ran my eyes over her appearance. She had on skin tight designer blue jeans and a simple black tank top that hugged her curves perfectly. The site of her made my skin tingle. There was also a warm sensation building in my nether regions that I had only ever felt in the beginning of my relationship with Edward.

Then I noticed how dark her eyes were and how heavily she was breathing and I started to get nervous.

"Alice, are you okay??" I asked shakily taking a step back and slipping on my towel

**Alice POV**

I sat watching Bella with a lustful gaze I knew it was an invasion of privacy and I should make my presence know but I wanted to admire her body a little longer. As my eyes roamed over her body I felt my self getting aroused. There were so many things I wanted to do to this gorgeous frail human girl standing before me.

I growled in what I thought was a quiet manner but it must not have been quiet enough because she froze before slowly turning to face me.

I expected her to shout at me for being in her room after avoiding her for so long but she just looked relieved. Then as she looked at me she looked worried. I realized my eyes must've been dark as night and my chest was heaving due to my thought only seconds ago.

"Alice, are you okay?" she asked me taking a step back she slipped on her discarded towel. Without thinking I rushed over and caught her before she fell. That may not have been the best idea if I was trying to keep my composure and not ravish her innately gorgeous body.

As my hand wrapped around her soft waist I could help but to pull her close to me and caress the skin touching my fingertips. I knew my control was failing and I should put some kind of space between my and the naked human and her mouth watering scent but I too far gone.

I ran my hand down the side of her body. I leaned in close to her neck and trailed my nose along her pulse point kissing her there as I lost myself in such a sweet and intoxicating smell. I felt her hands run down my back as her lips found my neck and kissed lightly.

I moaned and lightly purred. I couldn't believe that I was touching this exquisitely beautiful human girl not to mention she was kissing me back. The eroticism of it all was making me lose myself even more to my desires.

The voice in the back of my head was telling me that what I was doing was wrong but I ignored it as I ran my hand back up the side of her body and settled them on her breast caressing them, hard enough to make sure it was felt but gentle enough so as not to hurt bella.

She arched into my hand and moaned it was one of the sexiest sounds I had ever heard. I leaned down to trail kisses along her collarbone. God she was so soft and warm I never wanted to let her go.

I sniffed at her smelling her sweet scent. I notice it was stronger still sweet but tinged with lust. Bella was aroused and it smelled delicious but the slight change was enough to bring me to my senses.

I still wasn't ready to let her go but I was thinking more clearly now. I tightened my arms around her a little more, while I moved to nibbling on her earlobes. I felt her sigh against my neck and bite down roughly. I inhaled deeply and then whispered in her ear.

"you really want to get dressed before I do something that I'll regret later" I let her go. She was still holding on to me. She _really _wasn't helping my self control

"Bella please go get dressed. I'm trying but you being this close naked and aroused isn't helping." At the word aroused she blushed lightly but let go and moved to retrieve her towel. Mumbling something that sounded like sorry I wasn't paying much attention to anything except staying in control of myself.

I moved towards the window. Bella gathered some pajamas and moved to exit the room for the bathroom. She got to the door she turned around biting her bottom lip.

"will you be here when I get back?" she looked nervous and so vulnerable. I wanted to say yes but I truly needed to hunt so I told her as much.

"I'm sorry but I really need to hunt. If you can give me an half an hour I'll be back."

She looked at me nervously like she was debating whether or not to refuse my request. I guess she thought better of it and looked at me with a resigned look on her face. "Just promise me you'll come back. Please?!" it almost sounded as if she was begging. I looked her in her eye and gave her the most sincere smile I had. "I promise! Now go get dressed before I send you to a nudist colony."

She rolled her eyes and blushed before walking out the door.

Damn!! What the hell was that? I don't even know how I'm going to explain to Bella the way I was touching her. She touched me back though so that has to mean she at least finds me attractive. I just made what was going to be a slightly awkward conversation completely uncomfortable.

**Bella POV**

I got a half hour to get myself together before I had to have what was set to be a very long and more than awkward conversation. What was I doing touching alice like that.

That's my best friend. She's straight as am I. although she was touchingme… and god

did it feel right. The way she was kissing my body got me hotter than anything Edward than Edward ever had.

I was so confused as I put my shirt on and sat on the edge of the tub. The short time I had spent touching and being touch felt so damn right. I wasn't sure what this meant. All I know is I wanted to be calm be the time alice got back in the room. I didn't want her to come through the window and I strip her of her clothes and lick every part of her body. I wanted to have some sembalence of control over my actions

I had so many questions running through my head. Why am I having these feelings? Does this mean I like her as more than a friend? What does this mean for us? What about Alice and Jasper's relationship. How does she feel aboput what happened. Oh boy!!

I took a few deep breathes and opened the bathroom door. A walked back to my bed room to wait for alice and to see what change to my future, fate had in store for me.


	8. I'll Kill Him

**AN: I had the worst time writing this chapter. But here it is the newest chapter on center on my heart**

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**Chapter 7  
****Bella POV**

I walked in to my room and this time it really was Edward sitting on my bed. He looked completely pissed off. I felt self conscious standing in front of him with him looking at me with a look of pure disgust.

"So is this why you've been so distant. Because you fucking my sister." He said in a deadly calm voice.

I was completely taken aback our actions a while ago may have gotten a little more than friendly but we most certainly did not have sex. I looked at Edward and flinched a bit from the intensity of his gaze. "No Edward. I am not having sex with-"

I was cut off as I felt my body hit a wall hard. Edward was in front of me pinning me to wall. His look was menacing eyes the darks shade of onyx. "Bella please do not lie to me. I really hate being lied to."

I whimpered slightly. "Edward I'm not lying to you." I cried out as his grip on my body got tighter. I felt my body move from the wall and hit my bed before I could even try to move I felt Edwards body over me.

"Bella I can smell both of your arousals. They scent is pretty strong so I know it was recent. Alice was here. You were both aroused. By lying to me about it you're just upsetting me more. If you were that starved for affection why didn't you just tell me? I would have changed that" he pinned my arms above my head with one hand and used the other to rip my shirt open. He started kissing along my torso and all I could feel was disgust. I felt wrong and dirty.

"Edward, please stop. I don't want this. I didn't do anything with Alice. This isn't necessary. Please stop." I was begging and crying now. I tried in vain to move from him. He was now kissing and sucking on my breast violently. It was starting to hurt. I felt his free hand move to my shorts and start to pull them down.

"Now Bella, love, why would I stop? This is20what you want. That's why you went be hind my back and fucked my sister. I'm not doing any thing wrong. I'm giving you what you need." He had removed my shorts and was shoving his fingers violently into me. I cried out begging and pleading for him to stop. I tried to close my legs and move my body from him but he used his body to my legs spread apart. I knew I was about to black out. The only thing I could think was Alice, help me, please. I voiced this thought right before I passed out from the pain.

**Alice POV**

I had finished my hunt I was just sitting on the forest floor thinking now. I had to come up with a suitable explanation. I was hoping for a vision of upcoming conversation when I was hit with the most unbelievable vision.

Edward was hurting my Bella. He believed that we'd had sex and was now forcing himself on her while she screamed in pain and begged for him to stop.

He was under the impression that she wanted sex and had come running to me because he wouldn't give it to her. The last thing I saw her saying "Alice help me please" right before my vision stopped.

I hadn't noticed it but when the vision began I had already started running towards Bella's house. As I got about a mile away I picked up my phone never once slowing my pace. I dialed Emmett's phone and the second he picked up I screamed at him to meet me at Bella's and to bring Carlisle then I snapped the phoned shut crushing it with my force.

I didn't care about anything else at the moment. The only thing I could think was I hope I'm not too late. I kept hearing Bella's words in my head. I got to Bella's just in time to hear her say it. I leapt to her window in one swift movement.

I saw Edward on top of her and I felt my rage. I ran at him and pulled him off of her small fragile form. I grabbed him by his throat and threw him at a wall.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing to her?"

A snarl ripped from him "I was having sex with my girlfriend. You do remember that she is still with me although that didn't stop you from screwing her." With that he charged at me I dodge and moved behind him. I kicked him threw open window and I heard him land and then I heard Emmett's voice.

"What the hell is going on?" I hopped down out of the window and tackled Edward. I started hitting him as hard as I could, over and over I felt Carlisle lift me off of him. And I saw Edward try to charge at me. Emmett got in between us and wrestled Edward to the ground.

"Would someone please explain why you two are fighting?" Emmett asked again. Before I could speak Edward snarled. "She fucked my girlfriend. That dirty little whore fucked my girlfriend." He looked at me with eyes full of loathing. I knew my eyes were the mirror image of his.

I growled struggling to get out of Carlisle's arms. I had it set in my mind that I was going to kill Edward for what he did. I would set him straight on his accusations first and then I would kill him.

"I didn't fuck you girlfriend. Me and Bella have never had sex. I wouldn't let it go that far. Don't believe me look into my mind I don't care but just know I'm going to kill you for what you did. No matter what the circumstance you vile despicable sorry excuse for a man it gives you no right to do what you did." I was shaking uncontrollably with the murderous rage I felt towards Edward and I felt Carlisle tighten his grip on me.

Emmett looked at from me to Edward as did Carlisle. Neither had ever seen me so angry and I could tell that despite my size they feared for the life of Edward.

Emmett spoke shakily as if he was nervous about asking the question or the answer he would receive. "What exactly did you do Edward?"

"Edward looked at him and stated carelessly "I only gave Bella what she wanted."

As the words left his lips I struggled in Carlisle's grasp with renewed vigor "she didn't want to be sexually assaulted you pathetic little asshole. Carlisle let me go I'll kill him. He's going to die. CARLISLE!!" he didn't do anything but grasp tighter. If I was a human my body would have been crushed from the force being exerted.

Edward looked at me struggling and sneered "it wasn't sexual assault she's my girlfriend."

"She screamed in pain and begged you to stop ever and over that constitutes sexually assault."

Emmett who had looked shocked now had a look of pure fury on his face. I knew if I didn't get to kill Edward he would.

Carlisle still fighting to keep a hold on me whispered to me "Alice we should go check on Bella if she's been sexually assaulted she needs to be checked out. Is she still conscious?" he asked

He had angled his body away from the scene between Emmett and Edward. He may not want Edward killed but he knew he couldn't stop the fight between Emmett and Edward not after what Edward had done.

"I'm not sure Carlisle. The only thing I focused on was getting that asshole away from her." I stopped struggling in his arms

"Come with me to check on her. Emmett can handle his self." He released me tentatively making sure that I mad my way towards the house. I scaled the wall and went through the window Carlisle right behind me.

I moved to Bella's bedside. She looked so fragile and broken. Her clothes were ripped and she was shaking even in her unconsciousness. There were bruises along her torso and inner thigh and on her wrist. I could bear to see her like that. I wanted my Bella that laughs for no reason at all and whose smile lights up any room.

I could hold back the sob that escaped from me. "Carlisle please tell me she's going to be okay."

He looked her over moving her gently on occasion. He let his eyes go black and sniffed around her. Then he pulled his control back in like it was an everyday practice, which for him I guess it is. He looked at me and spoke softly.

"She'll be fine she's going to have bruises for some time and most likely some soreness but no major physical injuries. As for mentally and emotionally this is likely going to effect her."

"What do I do?"

"You just be there for her. She's going to need all the support she can get. Shall I tell let Esme know you wont be around the house much the next few days?"

"Yes please. Do you know when she will wake?" I asked looking at he still form that was still trembling slightly. I moved the blankets up around her.

"Most likely tomorrow, sometime. She passed out from exhaustion and mental exertion. After a traumatic experience such as this the body and mind to rest."

"Thank you Carlisle for everything." I walked over to him and embraced him. He gathered me up into his arms and kissed my forehead in such a fatherly way. I was at peace in his arms but I longed to be near Bella.

As if he could read my mind he released me and said "Go be with your Bella. She needs you." As if on cue Bella called out my name in her sleep.

I moved back over to her bedside, and lay next to her stroking her hair gently. She moved and grabbed at my shirt tightly. I realized she was shaking again. I looked to Carlisle he just looked sad. He spoke slowly. "She's having a bad dream. Its common with assault victims that they relive the experience in there nightmares. Like I said just be there for her and she'll get through this. We are all here for her." I nodded and he turned to leave. I was struck by a sudden vision.

"Carlisle!" he turned to look back at me. "Don't tell Rosalie yet. Let me and Emmett do that okay. Her reactions are completely different in my vision of you and Esme telling her or me and Emmett telling her. One puts the whole town of forks in danger of a pissed off Rosalie. The other actually helps Bella." Carlisle looked at me and nodded.

"I'll be back to check on her in the morning after Charlie leaves." With that he left through the window. I turned my head to se tears falling from Bella's closed eyes. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered to her over and over that everything would be okay and that I wasn't leaving her.

I was scared for what would come when she woke up all the questions and the crying and pain her thoughts and memories would evoke but I would be there no matter what. Bella had become the center of my heart. I couldn't leave her if I tried.

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AN: Well that was Chapter 7. read and review


	9. She's the Exception

**AN: This is really just a filler chapter. i just wanted to clarify some thing.**

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I had been lying with Bella for hours. It was now about 1:30 pm. Charlie had left for work a while ago. I was trying to comfort Bella as much as I could through her sleep.

It was crushing me to watch her through out the night. There was an especially bad hour when she just kept crying and begging for Edward to stop in her dreams. I held her close to me and continually assured her that it was okay and he wouldn't hurt her again.

I realized I hadn't seen Emmett since last night when he was beating the hell out of that asshole Edward. I released Bella for a few moments never taking my eyes off her. She was quiet for the moment. I found her phone and called Emmett. The phone barely rang before he answered. "Oh my Carlisle!! Bella how are you? How do you feel? Is there anything I can do? If you need anything I'm here for you. You know that right baby sis?"

I snickered at Emmett's incessant babbling. "Emmett, relax. It me Alice."

"Oh hey Kitty. How is Bella? Why aren't you answering your phone?"

"Bella is still resting? She only just stopped crying in her sleep since Carlisle left. My phone is destroyed. I crushed it yesterday when I hung up from you."

"What is that phone number five?" Emmett laughed.

"Shut up Emmett I was furious. And I still am. Emmett he practically raped her. I could have lost her and I haven't even gotten to tell her how I feel. He hurt her Emmett. Physically she'll be fine yeah but emotionally and mentally I don't know how she will react and I'm scared." I stated slight sobs coming from me.

"Aww! Kitty I know how you feel trust me I do. When Rose told me what happened to her I didn't know what to do either but eventually I realized that you don't have to know what to do. Just be attentive and love her the best way you know how. Just be there and let her know that you're in her corner to fight the battle with her and she doesn't have to endure the hurt and anguish alone you're there to lessen her burden. Talk with her listen to her and show her how much you love her and that you would never hurt her. Gain her trust and everything else will fall into place."

"Thanks Emmett." I sniffed. "When did you become the relationship expert?"

"I'm not I just know you and her will work it out. I know Bella is strong enough to get though this especially with you by her side. Now get back to your Bella."

"Wait Emmett. What about Edward where is he? Oh yeah did you tell rose what happened?"

"That little prick ran off. I threw him into a large tree. He got up and ran. I chased him but he is faster than me as for Rose she knows that Edward is gone and Bella was hurt. She thinks Edward left because Bella was hurt not because we tried to kill him. Honestly I'm nervous about what she might do if we tell her. You know she really likes Bella because she sees a lot of herself in Bella. She just didn't want Bella turned."

"I know. Just bring her by later on and we tell her together. In my vision when we tell her here at Bella's she is furious with Edward then she is concerned for Bella. I'm counting on that. Oh and Emmett please use the door."

"Okay. If you're sure future seer. Oh and btw jasper wants to talk to you. We had a 'chat' of sorts and he is willing to be reasonable about the whole situation. But he still wants to talk to you face to face."

"Do I even want to know what you meant by chat?" he laughed "probably not"

"okay tell Carlisle she'll be up in about 2 hours he should be hear before that to check her over if he wants to do his examine before she wakes up." I sighed knowing what he was going to say next "I know he would prefer to do it once she wakes but that doesn't go to well. At least not yet."

I looked over at Bella she was tossing and turning. I cut Emmett off in the middle of his rambling and told him I'd call him when I was ready to see him and Rosalie and to make sure he told Carlisle what I said. And hung up. I moved to Bella's side and lay down with her. I draped and arm over her stomach and drew calming patterns. She immediately moved closer to me. I held her tighter and continued rubbing her stomach as I waited for Carlisle to arrive.

Carlisle arrived about an hour before Bella should have been waking. He looked her over and said the same things as last night she'd be sore and bruised but other wise she'd physically heal. He told me I should give her some aspirin for the pain

"Alice, how are you emotionally" Carlisle asked gazing at me with his fatherly concern.

I sat and thought about it for a few moments. I was angry but not furious anymore. Bella needed me to keep my head right now but I couldn't deny the pain I was feeling at the moment. "Honestly Carlisle I'm hurting. How could he do this to her? He was supposed to love her. I knew from the beginning they weren't each other's forever but they were supposed to keep each other happy until such a time as they found their forevers. Carlisle no matter what happened he shouldn't have done what he did, I can never forgive him."

"I can understand your feelings Alice. I would have never thought Edward capable of it if I hadn't seen the proof myself. Not to be nosy but what exactly did happen between you and Bella?" he looked so uncomfortable. I would have laughed had this not been so serious

"No offense Carlisle that's a private matter between me and Bella. I can promise you that we did not sleep together as Edward accused." He looked thoughtful. He stood up to leave.

"Well that's your private business. I will be leaving before she can wake. Just let her know we're all here for her and she's welcome at the house whenever she wants. He leaned down and kissed my forehead and then left.

As he walks out of the house I felt Bella stirring against me.

**Bella POV**

I was coming out of a very unpleasant dream. I felt cold arms around me and immediately froze as memories of last nights came back to me. I felt y body tremble as I started crying. I felt the cold slender arms wrap around me and I tried to pull way. "Please let me go." They released me immediately

I moved to the far corner of my bed and moved to pull my knees to my chest and hissed in pain as I felt just how sore my body was. That when I heard her voice. The soft sweet bells that relaxed me.

"Does it hurt? I can get you some aspirin if you need it? Carlisle said it would help." She stated in a voice full of concern. I looked up from my curled up position and nodded my head. She was gone and back in a flash. Glass from the bathroom filled with water and two small white pills I recognized.

She placed them on the night stand and stepped back giving me space for which I was grateful. I wasn't sure if I could handle any contact just yet. I tri3ed to take the pills of the dresser and reached for the water. My arms felt dead I realized that I would need help.

I still wasn't okay with the idea of being touched but I also didn't like this pain either. I tried one more time but my shoulders burned from the force. Before I could ask her for help she spoke

"Don't worry Bella I'll touch you as little as possible until you're ready…"

I didn't want her to think it was her. I just wasn't feeling comfortable in my own skin. I felt dirty and disgusting and right now her hands just remind me too much of HIS "Alice it's…" she cut me off

"Bella its okay I understand we'll go at your pace. I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me just let me know what I can do and I'll do it." I ran this over in my head and decided that the first thing I wanted was the aspirin.

"Can you please help me with this medicine" I whispered

"Of course love" I flinched when she said that HE called me that.

"Don't. Call. Me. That. Ever. Again." I said with malice lacing my voice. I was breathing heavier than before. She looked up at my sudden out burst with worried eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella." She looked down at her feet with a hurt expression..

I felt bad for the way I came off to her. "I'm sorry it's just that HE used to call me that and it just triggered some things that I wasn't ready for." She seemed a little more relieved.

"It okay I should have known. But let get you medicated. So how do you want to do this?"

"Can you drop the pills in the glass and then just hold the glass while I drink It." she did exactly as I asked. After I had taken the pills I rested against the head board. And Alice moved to sit at my desk.

"It's okay if you sit closer to me. I would actually prefer it just please don't touch me. At least not yet. "

She moved and sat on the edge o the bed. She looked at my I was leaning against the head board with my eyes closed. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like hell twice over." I couldn't help it I broke down crying and I could tell she wanted to comfort me but wasn't sure how I would react.

She was unsure whether or not to approach me. She wanted to comfort me but she knew it was my wish not to be touched. I sat crying hysterically and she moved as close to me as it was possible for her to be with out actually touching me.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head against them and sat with me while I cried, never once taking her eyes off of me.

It means a lot to me that she stayed with me through my break down. I need comfort and I want it to be her. I don't want to be touched but she's the exception. She's always the exception.

I move closer to her and rest my head on her shoulder. She doesn't move but she speaks. "Bella... is it okay if I hold you? If you're not ready that's okay. We can just sit here like this." She was babbling. She always babbles when she's nervous.

"Alice it is okay if you hold me." She moves slowly and turns to me holding her arms out at my sides. I turn my back to her chest and lean all my weight against her as she wraps her arms around my small shaking frame. We sit like that for hours her comforting me while sobs wracked ,y body


	10. What's With The Yelling?

**AN: wow three cahps up in a week i've really been going in. i'm really gettin into to this story. i have a few ideas as to where this will go but i have to work them out first so the chap updates may slow. i've been loving all the review. please keep it up the more reviews the faster i try to get chapter up. so enough rambling on with the story. **

**Chapter 9  
****Alice POV**

I sat holding bella for about two hours before her breathing steadied and her heart rate evened. I laid her down and moved to call Emmett back I figured we should talk to rose now while my bella was still sleeping.

I opened the phone and dialed Emmett. He answered.

"bella? Alice?" he is so cute when he worries. I was glad I had Emmett as my big brother. He could always scare away the figurative monsers in my closet.

"it's me big brother. Bella just went back to sleep. I -"

"she was up and you didn't have her call me! I've been worried out of my mind. Not to mention Esme's been constantly pacing back and forth waiting for an update." Emmett was nearly shouting through the phone.

"Emmett! Calm down. She was up for a while but it mostly consisted of her crying. She wouldn't even let me touch her when she first woke up. Then I gave her some aspirin like Carlisle instructed me to and asked her how she felt and she broke down crying herself back to sleep."

"ooh alice I'm sorry. We're just worried about her. So what were you calling about?"

"I was going to tell you to bring Rosalie by now so we can talk to her. I want to do it while bella is sleep so I don't have to leave her alone later when she wakes up."

"are you sure telling rose is a good idea?" he asked. I could ell he was hesitant of her reaction. It made me smile to know that evean as the strongest vampire I've ever met he was still scared of his wife.

"yes Emmett. She'll find out eventually anyway and be pissed off that we didn't tell her. At least this way she knows what's going on and can maybe help bella get through this."

He sighed and then spoke "okay kitty we'll be there soon" with that he hung up. I moved back over to bella she looked to be at peace as I sat beside her and ran my hand through her messy hair.

Emmett and Rosalie should be here in a in a few minutes. Our house is no further than a three minute run. I moved to the window and looked for any signs of my siblings. After a few seconds saw a few of the trees tremble. It was undoubtedly Emmett being Emmett. I moved back over to bella and kissed her forehead before leaving her room to meet the pair down stairs.

I opened the door the door just as Rosalie was telling Emmett off for "being such a moron"

He looked at her and said "Babe the bitchiness is unnecessary," in aal the year I've known Rosalie I've come to realize that she loves the way Emmett can call her on her bullshit and that he has no reserve in tell her that she's being a bitch. I've also come to learn that he's the only one that can get away with it.

"hey Rose, Em. Come in."

"key kitty"

"hey alice Emmett said we needed to talk"

"yes we do." I moved aaside as they both walked in.

"what exactly do we need to talk about that I couldn't be told at home."

"well Emmett and I need to talk to you but seeing as I couldn't leave bella alone" she looked at me suspiciously.

"what exactly did happen to Bella?"

"that's what we want to tell you." I led the through to Bella's kitchen we each took a seat around the table

"okay whats going on. Emmett told me Bella was hurt and Edward left. What does Bella being hurt have to do with what you have to tell me." I felt a spike of anger go though me at hearing her say HIS name. I breathed in deeply and then spoke

"well I guess I should start off. With the conversation I had with Emmett a about two days ago. I was sitting in a tree and Emmett found me we talked about why I was acting so strange around Jasper and Bella."

She looked at me knowingly. "and why were you acting so strange"

"because I'm in love with Bella."

"I'm glad you finally came to your senses and figured that out. It was driving me insane. But I'm still failing to realize what this has to do with Bella being hurt" I knew this would get harder for me to explain as I got further along in what happened but I wanted to get out as much as possible before my emotions took over.

I sighed "I'm getting to that. after I talked to Emmett I ran to find Bella. I had no intentions on telling her my feelings only spending some time in her presence. I found her and things got a little more physical than the should have but we didn't have sex. I promis you that." I looked in her eyes pleading with her to understand. "I stopped before that could happen. I left to hunt and as I was hunting…" I breathed in deeply I knew I was going to have an issue with continuing. Emmett seeing my dilemma took over from where I left off.

"she got a vision and called me to meet her here and bring Carlisle. I didn't know what the fuck was going on when I got here all I knew was she has just pushed Edward out of the window and jumped down and started effectively whopping his ass. when me and Carlisle got separated the him and Edward and our own personal vampire version of Laila Ali here we tried to get the story out. All we could get at first was that Edward did something and apparently Alice was going to kill him for it. Honestly I don't think there was any doubt in mine or carlisle's mind that isf we weren't there she probably would have killed him."

By this time I was furious again just thinking about what he did to my angel. Made me want to run and find him and rip him limb from limb. I sat with my eyes closed, clenching and un clenching my fist ,breathing deeply trying to remain in control of myself. Only three words repeating in my mind at the moment: Bella needs you. As I heard Rosalie speak I opened my eye but kept repeating those words in my head.

She looked at me. taking in my stance and what Emmett had just said I could see her grasping onto what we were trying to tell her. She spoke her voice shaky but clear. "what did Edward do to her exactly?"

I could see it in her eyes that she knew what we were telling her she just needed the confirmation. I looked at her and stated "he accused her of sleeping with me and forced his self on her. He didn't actually have sex with her but he assaulted her."

I could see the anger in her eyes that matched mine. I felt the blow up coming but there was nothing that could be said. She had to vent and say everything that was building up inside her so I let her. Emmett moved to place his arms round her shoulders as if to keep her grounded. Her voice came out filled with rage.

"how could he? he was supposed to ove her? He knew what that could do to someone. He saw my memories. He knew how frequently I relived them. why would he subject her to that. constantly thinking of him as her tormentor. No matter what she did even if she did fuck you that gives him no right to her body. No right to her innocence. He was suppose to be protecting her from pain not inflicting it. What happened to the gentleman that he was suppose to be. Did he lose his fucking mind. Where is he now? He needs to know tere is a price for his actions." She finished her rant voice loud with anger. She stood up but Emmett was holding her. He knew she would try to leave and find him. He could be anywhere and with his ability to read our minds from a father away then we can detect him it would be a lost cause before it was even started.

"we don't know. I haven't gotten any visions of him. I haven't really been focusing my mind on that asshole only on -"

"what is all this yelling about." Bella asked.

All the vampires in the room whipped there heads around to see her standing with her hands wrapped around her torso.

Emmett released Rose and made a move towards Bella. Rosalie stopped him before he could go any further seeing how Bella shrank away from his movement.

"Emmett! Don't touch her. Ask her first before you make a move to touch her. she maynot want to be touched right now." was rose's explaination to him. He looked to Bella and thought over his words before speaking.

"hi Bella. I was really worried about you. I'm glad to see you awake. I only wanted to hug you and let you know that your big vampire teddy bear was always here for you." He stood in his spot looking at her waiting for her answer

"if it is okay I would rather you not touch me right now but I am glad to know that my vampire teddy bear is always here for me" there was a ghost of a smile playing on her lips at the end of sentence.

Emmett nodded understandingly. Then Bella spoke again. "no one ever answered my question. who was yelling and why?"

Rosalie looked up at her "I'm sorry Bella that was me. they just told me what happened and I flew off the deep end. Please forgive me if I disturbed you."

"it's okay. I'm going back upstairs now." And with that she turned around and ascended the stairs. I heard her door close before Rose started speaking again. This time much more quietly.

"Alice if it is okay I would like to talk to Bella. I know she needs you and I will not interrupt your time anymore than this but for my own sanity I need to speak with her myself. If she knew that she wasn't alone, that there are others that have gone through stuff like this it might help her." As much as I wanted to stay with bella I knew that her speaking to Rosalie might help her.

"okay I'm going to the house to gather some things then I'm goignto talk to Charlie about staying here for a few day to help bela get over her and Edwards 'break up' just call me before you leave so I can be back."

With that me and Emmett left and Rosalie started slowly walking up the stair.

I so hoped that their talk would have a positive effect on Bella.


	11. A Bell's Whistle to a Rose

**AN: so i finally go the talk up. i feel like its all over the place but i think i covered everything. i wrote this not having slept for 3 days so bare with me i'm a little delirious. if you find anything wrong just review or pm me and i'll fix it. think of writing the scene where Rose kills Royce let me know what you think. also any suggestions for stories you would like to see me write for twilight jsut pm me with the idea.**

**Chapter 10  
Rosalie's POV**

I walked slowly up the steps towards what I knew to be a broken Bella. As I got closer to her door memories of my own past started to resurface. They were the most horrible thing in my past. After almost eighty years it still plagues me. I wanted to be the strong confident female vampire and not the vulnerable and scared little girl that I hadn't allowed anyone but Emmett to see.

I stood outside Bella's door for a few moments gathering my self confidence before going to speak with Bella. I knew she was hurting and would need everyone around her to help her get through this.

I just wanted her to know that she could come and speak to me if she needed to. Although I haven't been exactly pleasant to her, I really do like her. Her choices just don't sit well with me. But at a time like this I refuse to be, as Emmett would say 'a super bitch'.

I inhaled one last time and knocked on her door gently waiting for an answer, hoping that she hadn't gone back to sleep yet. I heard her voice call softly.

"Come in Alice," expecting the small pixie and not me.

I opened the door slowly. I looked at Bella. She was laying in the middle of her bed in the fetal position facing away from the door. It broke my heart to see someone like this and especially her. She reminds me so much of myself. I knew this was going to be a hard conversation to have. Seeing the haunted look in her eyes that I knew only too well would be torture.

I spoke softly still standing in the doorway. "It's not slice. I wanted to talk to you if that's all right?" I stayed in my place awaiting her answer.

She stretched her body out then sat up and turned to look at me. Her eyes once so alive were just clouded with pain. She spoke and thought her voice was quiet it was harsh and venomous.

"What exactly do you have to say to me. What are you gonna tell me it's my fault for getting in a relationship with him. That we knew it was doomed from the beginning. Or that I asked for it for being such a slut and feeling up his sister while still with him. Or are you going to yell at me for braking up your family again. Because if that's what you're hear to tell me I already fucking know. So you can leave happy." by the time she was finished she was crying and yelling at me hysterically. I don't know which one hurt more; the fact that she felt this way about herself or that she thought I just that much of a bitch that I would actually come and say any of these things to her after what happened.

If I was human I would be crying. But seeing as I'm a vampire my eyes just sparkled with my tears that wouldn't fall. I looked at Bella's for sitting there holding herself together. I was slightly angered at her word but I knew she was just lashing out because she was hurting. So I spoke softly.

"Bella's I'm really sorry you feel this way. I would never say any of those things to you because they're not true. I never meant to hurt you with the way I acted around you… Well maybe I did but not for the reasons you think." I closed the door and sat on the floor pressed against it. I was about to speak when I heard Bella's voice.

"Why would he do this me? He was always so loving and caring, sure he was over protective but it was endearing. I knew that I should have told him I was falling out of love with him. I was planning on telling him soon. But then Alice was here and she was holding me and it felt right but we never let it go any further than a few touches. You have to believe me Rose. I promise we didn't. Neither of us could have stood to hurt him. I obviously can't say the say for him."

I knew she need to vent and get all her thoughts out but I couldn't just sit and watch her break like this. I had to comfort her somehow. I stood and walked over to her bed she had stopped her venting for a moment to breathe she looked at me and before I knew it she had leapt from the bed and threw her body on me. With her force I knew she would have bruises aside from the ones that HE undoubtedly left on her. But she didn't flinch on impact. She held on to me tightly shaking uncontrollably. I wrapped my arms around her to comfort her rubbing her back reassuringly.

"Bella its okay to feel the way you feel. I've been there before trust me it hurt and it's hard but you'll get through it."

"But Rosalie it hurts so much. How can I ever let this go. " she asked moving her head to rest on the place my dead heart resided. Looking at Bella clutching my shirt with tear running down her face she looked so lost.

"Bella, sweetheart I know you feel like you can't breathe properly right now. And you fear every move you make because he may come back. But I promise no matter what we have to do HE won't come back. Between me, Emmett and especially Alice you wont be hurt again."

I moved us over to sit on her bed. I sat and she sat in my lap. "Rosalie I can't help but feel like it's my fault. That maybe if I would have -"

"Bells I learned the hard way that you can't go around blaming your self for the actions of others. There is no power on this earth that gives anyone the right to do what he did." She was silent for awhile she had calmed down some. I could see she felt a bit better but she still had a lot more healing to do. I had never really been this close to Bella but now I could tell why she had every member in my family captivated. Her scent drew you in but once you were there everything else about her made you want to be around her. She broke my train of thought with a question I knew would come up but I still wasn't ready for.

"Rosalie…why do… I mean… how… how do you know what I'm going through so well? What happened to you?" she looked at me expectantly. I knew she didn't need to know the details but she needed to know the story.

**Bella's POV**

I wasn't sure why I asked it but I just had this aching feeling that I needed to know. We had never been close before hell this is the only conversation we had ever actually had. It just felt like she could relate to me on a level that no one else could, not even Alice.

"Bells how much do you know about why I was turned?"

I looked confused. "Not much. Just that Carlisle found you in bad condition and turned you. Was there more to the story?"

She let out a dull laugh "yeah there was a bit more to the story." She looked at me and sat me on the bed. I felt oddly tired. I lye down, resting my head on her lap as she told me her story. She ran her hands through my hair as went on with her story.

I listened as she talked about the family she had. I heard the longing in her voice when she talked about her friend Vera and her husband and child.

Then she told me of her relationship with a man named Royce. She left out most of the details of what happened the night she was turned. She did tell me that their relationship ended much the same as mine and Edward's. The only difference being it wasn't just him it was him and his friends and no one was there to stop them.

I shuddered at the thought of Alice not saving me when she did. Oh my Alice!!

Rose was talking about what made this life so bearable: Emmett. It was clear that although she had been through an extremely traumatic experience she got through it. It gave me a small incentive of hope for myself. I looked at her she had stopped talking looking deep in either thought or memory. I had a question before I lost her altogether

"Rosalie, how did you get over what Royce did? I mean you experience was so much worse and yet you can sit and speak about it objectively, whereas I still can't even say HIS name."

She just looked at me and laughed "Bella it takes a lot of soul searching and support. I wasn't just better in the blink of an eye. And even sitting here with you it takes a lot of emotion out me. I've just gotten pretty good at controlling my feeling. Emmett still comes home to find me a quivering mass on the floor every now and then. But that's the major factor. Emmett. I let him in and showed him all the emotional cuts and bruises. And he was my own personal doctor. You understand what I'm saying."

I nodded. "Rose I don't have an Emmett. And I don't think I can get through this by my self. I just hate him so much and it just feels like that's the only emotion that consumes me now."

She gazed at me intently and if trying to convey life secrets through that stare. "You do have an Emmett. Alice is very much sweet in you. And I can tell that you like her just as much. The second I said her name my thirst flared from your blush." When she said this I made a move to get up not wanting to make her uncomfortable but she stopped me. "Bella don't worry your scent doesn't bother me. With a record almost as clean as Carlisle's, it's not at all hard for me to resist. I've never tasted human blood. But anyway. Back you and Alice. Just take it slow. She won't rush you into anything. She just wants to be there for her. Take it from me, you'll need her and you wouldn't want to lose her because you pushed her away. I almost lost Emmett and it's really not something you want to go through."

"Thank you Rose. Talking to you helped a lot." I looked at her and smiled the first sincere smile I'd had today.

"You're welcome Bells. Glad I could help. I should call Alice although she's probably seen me and is already on her way here." She laughed. When we heard a car pull up outside.

The engine cut off to the car and Alice was up the stairs seconds later, knocking on the door.

"Come in." I looked at her she looked amazing she had changed her clothes. She now had on a cute form fitting pink velour track suit. My heart sped up a bit seeing her..

Rosalie laughed and Alice smiled "Alice if that happens every time she sees you you're gonna give her a heart attack." All three of us laughed at that.

"God Bells it's good to hear your laugh." She looked at me and I could tell that Rosalie wasn't lying. There was longing and love in her eyes. It made my stomach flutter.

Rosalie got up to leave. I should go I need to be with Emmett. She hugged me and kissed Alice n the cheek as she walked passed.

Something I she said earlier caught my attention at that moment. "Hey rose if you've never tasted human blood why is your record only almost as clean as Carlisle's?"

She laughed darkly "that's a story for another day. Be with your Alice." And with that she walks out the room leaving me with the lovely tiny fairy seated next to me. I slide over to Alice and wrapped my arms around her after. After the conversation with Rose I felt a bit better about being touched. I felt oddly emotionally drained and just wanted to be with Alice.

"Alice could you help me shower please."

"Of course bells anything for you."


	12. We're Going Out

**AN: So haven't updated in a while but I was gettin ready for prom and graduation. I'm Finally a Graduate!!! YAY!! To those fans that were hoping for a shower scene this chap sorry it made the day seem like it was being dragged everybody that reviewed last chap thanx. I have 96 reviews I want to go past hundred reviews. Oh and just a random thought I've been entertaining does anybody agree that BRING ME TO LUFE by EVANESCENCE would be the perfect song for the new moon movie. Oh and BTW if you want to see a good movie go see transformers 2 i really enjoyed it (punk ass decepticons LOL!).Always please R&R.**

**Dedication:to emryk cullen for letting me know that people are actually waiting for updates. great story's on her profile check them out.**

**Diswclaimer:I Own Nothing**

**Chapter 11: Alice POV**

It had been a few days since the conversation between Bella and Rosalie. Bella's bruises were slowly fading. She still has trouble with physical contact but it's getting better. I can't be holding her as she wakes up but after she's fully awake it was okay.

She hasn't been to school in a few days. She had chosen not to go for the rest of the week and to start back next week on Monday.

Carlisle had finally been by to check her out while she was awake. She wouldn't let me go the entire time. He invited her to come over to the house be cause everyone missed her but she told him she wasn't ready top be there yet. He respected he wishes and left.

I looked over at the clock it was 7.30 am. I would have to move soon, Bella would be waking. I needed to change my clothes anyway; I was taking Bella out today. To a museum then to the movies and dinner. I'm not classifying it as a date because we haven't had a chance to actually talk about what happened between us that night. So I don't know what feelings she may have towards me

She probably blames me for what happened. I know I do.

Not to mention there's still the complication of Jasper. The last time we talked didn't go so well

_Flashback_

_I stepped up to the house but Emmett pulled me back._

"_Ali… I should tell you that Jasper is still inside. He won't leave until you two talk."_

"_Emmett I don't want to talk to him right now. The only thing on my mind is Bella. Go tell him that I agree to talk to him but just not today, not right now."_

_He looked at me with an exasperated look "kitty you know Jasper isn't going to leave unless you two talk. He's stubborn as all hell. I could beat the hell out of him rip him to pieces and he would still find his way right back to the same pace waiting for you to talk. Just go and tell him you'll talk to him just not right now. I think he knows what happened so he should understand. He's not a complete ass."_

"_Okay I'll go." I sighed resigned to what I knew was the inevitable._

_I walked in the house and quickly up to my room. I had no intentions on being here that long. I went into the room and Jasper was lying across the couch. I walked to my closet without acknowledging him. I hoped he would feel my emotions and realize that I didn't want to talk._

_No such luck._

"_Alice, can we talk?"_

_I continued ignoring him while I started picking out clothes for the next few days. I had gone through two racks of clothes before he spoke again._

"_Alice you can't just ignore me. I'm your husband."_

_I stopped moving and finally acknowledged him "Jasper, right now is not a good time for me to talk to you. I'm sure you heard about what happened with Bella and Edward. This really hurt her and I'm her best friend she needs me."_

_He laughed humorlessly "Are you sure you're just her 'best friend' because your feelings are saying something totally different. And I heard about why he did it. His actions aren't justified but you were just as wrong for sleeping with the little tramp." He stared at me coldly but I could see the pain lying just beneath the surface._

_I was still completely pissed off. How dare he talk about my Bella that way? "She's not a tramp. Call her that again and you won't exist by the next sunrise."_

_He looked at me incredulously. "You're mad at me because she fucked you and you're married and she knew it. She's a tramp. She's a tramp and you know it." He spat venomously. I felt my eyes darken at his words. I couldn't stop my actions I lunged at him he flew back out of my closet. _

_I was being controlled by all my pent up anger and emotion from the past two days. I stood and went for him again he flew through the glass wall._

_Esme and Emmett appeared in my room having heard the crashes. Emmett grabbed me before I could get out the window and Esme went over to the window to survey the damage. _

"_Kitty what happened? I thought you were coming up to get clothes and leave."_

_I was fuming but I relaxed in Emmett's arms "that would have been the case but he was being an ass and pissed me off."_

_Esme looked back at me "Ali sweetheart how many times have I told you, you have to control your temper better."_

"_It wasn't my fault he called Bella a tramp and accused us of sleeping together. I told him it wasn't a good time for us to talk he wouldn't listen and he kept taunting me. I don't want to talk about this I have to get to Charlie and back to Bella."_

_End flashback_

I was pulling on my heels when Bella started to stir. I went and sat in her windowsill and waited for her to acknowledge me before I moved over to her. I watched as she sat up and rubbed her eyes with balled up fists. She looked adorable, just like a little kid. She stretched her arms over her head and yawned then looked around her room her eyes resting on me.

A soft graced her face as she spoke "hey Alice." Her voice was still groggy and laced with sleep. It was cute.

"Hey Bells." I said moving to get up from the windowsill. I sat at the edge of the bed making sure it was okay for me to be this close.

She moved closer to me and wrapped her arms around me. I smiled she was always so warm. "Why are you so dressed up?" she said laying her head against my shoulders.

"I'm not dressed up. You just don't have a super good sense of fashion. But that's okay because you have me." I leaned back against the head board and she curled in closer to my side.

"Fashion sense put aside. Why are you dressed before10 am?" I laughed at her selective amnesia. I know I told her we were going out three times yesterday.

"Babe we've been over this I'm taking you out today. You've been in the house for the last five days. You need to get out."

She moved her head down so it rested over where my heart beat should have been. "Allllllice I really don't want to go. I just want to stay right here with you" she whined.

I sighed I almost gave in but I knew she would thank me later. "Bella you're not getting out of this. Besides Emmett would kill me if I don't let him see you soon."

She looked up at me. "Emmett's coming? You didn't tell me that."

"It was supposed to be a surprise. He and Rosalie will both be with us today. Now will you get up and get dressed. We're going to be late."

She groaned and got up to get something to wear. I left her room to go make her breakfast. I had to climb on .the counter to get her box of fruity pebbles that she hides behind all the health food so Charlie won't get to it. I made her a bowl of cereal and some toast. I had a vision of what she decided to wear. The pants were ok but I couldn't let her wear that shirt it was crime to every fashionista anywhere. "Bella?" I called up the stairs

"Yes Alice?"

"Your breakfast is on the table. Change your shirt and come down stairs." I heard her sigh and walk back over to the closet.

I walked out side to my new… well Bella's new car. She doesn't know about my temper tantrum 2 days ago that resulted in Emmett crashing into her car. I just bought the 2010 Nissan 370Z but since I am responsible for the heap of scrap metal Rose took to the junk that used to be her truck so I'm giving her my car. She'll probably throw a tantrum but I'll get her to agree I always do.

I called Emmett to make sure him and Rose were on their way over. He answered there 2 minutes away and Bella would be out in about 4 minutes.

Bella walked outside and eyed the car as I leaning against. She walked over to stand by me. Then looked around and back to me suspiciously. "Alice… where is my truck?!"

**Bella POV**

The first thing I notice when I walked out side was Alice she looked perfect. She always dressed to impress. I started to notice her surroundings after a while and noticed something was missing.

I walked over to her and realized what was missing I stood in front and looked around checking to make sure I hadn't missed it. Then I looked back at her suspiciously.

"Alice… where is my truck?!"

She looked down and looked like she was resigning her self to something. Then she sighed, looked up at me and spoke really fast. "Well see what happened was… EmmettpissedmeoffandwegotintoafightandIendedupkickinghimintoyourtruck"

I looked at her completely confused "think you want to say that so a human can understand it?"

I saw Rose and Emmett pull up as she was about to answer. I turned to her and waited.

She sighed again. She looked so cute like a kid being scolded for eating cookies before dinner. She looked down and spoke again but slightly slower. "I said… Emmett pissed me off and we got in to a fight and I ended up kicking him into your truck." There was no way I could be mad at her when she looked so adorable.

"Well at least you won so I can't be too mad." She looked up sharply a dazzling smile forming on her lips.

"You're not mad?!"

No now Emmett and Rose are here so let's go.

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	13. Jealousy and Memories

**AN: Still trying to figure out where I'm going with this story so please bear with me**

**Dedication: Pandora's hand this chap is dedicated to you for being my #98-101 reveiwer.  


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Chapter 12: Bella's POV

Emmett and Rosalie walked over to us. Emmett looked nervous hadn't seen him since the day Rose and I talked and I wasn't in such high spirits. Admittedly I'm still not but since Alice went through so much trouble to actually take me out today I was determined to have a good time.

"H…Hi Bella." Emmett's stuttering was funny and I could help but laugh.

"Em it's okay I'm not going to explode if you speak to me. Just don't touch me and we're all good." He smiled and nodded and moved around me to bother Alice.

Rose spoke next; her voice was less nervous than Emmett's, but you could still hear the concern in her soft voice. "Hey Bella, how are you today?"

I walked over to her and gave a hug. "I'm better but still healing." She helped me through one of the worse days of my life and I felt connected to her because of it.

I felt her nod and wrap her arms around me returning the embrace. "Its to be expected. But at leas-" she was cut off as Emmett started whining.

"Hey! How come she gets a hug and I don't? This isn't good for my self-esteem." He whined

I rolled my eyes and let go of Rose. "Honestly Emmett, I hang around nothing but vampires and wolves and I'm the clumsiest human known to man, so whose self esteem is really higher up on the endangered species list…" I smirked and decided to add "…and besides your wife's hot."

I was only trying to mess with Emmett but the reaction that my comment got from Alice was completely unexpected. I heard a low growl before the driver's side door slammed.

Emmet looked at me with a confused expression and I arched my eyebrow looking to Rosalie. Rose just looked amused. She then spoke with a short chuckle escaping "someone's a little jealous."

We all got into the car and Alice sped of as soon as the last door closed.

We arrive at the Seattle Museum of Art nine am. Alice got out of the car and was instantly around opening my door. She had gotten over her momentary jealousy. She took my hand and helped me out the car.

"So I managed to get us a private tour. And at the end of it I have a surprise for you."

We walked through the museum with our tour guide a pretty, blonde hair blue eye, average cheerleader looking girl. I wasn't sure if Rose was right about Alice being jealous or what she said a few days ago about her being sweet on me. I would love to believe it but other than the incident in my room she's just been a really good best friend. I wanted to see if rose was right and I figured today was as good a time as any to test it and this girl would help me out.

We walked through the museum with the guide – I think her name was Jenny – showing us through the different time period of art and different countries and types of art. We got to the modern sculptures and she let us explore on our own. Emmett dragged Alice to a yo-yo sculpture and Rose moved to mirror sculpture that reflects you in different lights or something.

I stood in front of a sculpture that was directly in Alice's view, and then I called over Jenny.

"Excuse me… um Jenny can you tell me something about this piece?"

"Sure I would love to." She sauntered over to me. "This is actually one of my favorites. The artist is actually only 20. I got to meet her when the piece first came in she was sweet and a total babe."

Knowing that Alice could hear everything being said I replied. "You know you really should tell people before you start bragging about yourself."

She giggled. At the same time I saw Alice glaring at the girl in my peripheral view.

I continued with the conversation I was having glancing at Alice every now and then. We moved over to another sculpture and I tripped over my own feet and Jenny caught me and I giggled.

"I do that a lot."

She stood me upright and spoke "so you fall into the arms of random women often?"

"Well no actually, usually only the ones I like." I smiled at her. I glanced at Alice the expression on her face told me she was completely beyond jealous. Rosalie came over to me at that moment.

"Bella can I talk to you…" she glanced back at Jenny rolled her eyes and looked at me again "… in private?"

I followed Rose out of the place where the sculpture exhibit was being held. And before I had a chance to actually see what was around me Rose spun around to face me.

"What the hell are you doing?" the look on her face was between annoyance and amusement.

I chose to play dumb "what are you talking about, Rose? I wasn't doing anything."

She rolled her eyes and kept the same amused look on her face. "You are aware that you're pissing her off."

"Pissing who off? I haven't done anything."

She placed her hands on my shoulders "Bells I'm almost one hundred years old. I know what flirting is. I also know that your doing it purposely. Know I'm not going to tell you not to do it but I am going to tell you to be careful. Don't push her to far or you may not be able to pull her back in."

She walked away from me back into the room we had come out of. I thought about what she said it made sense but it wasn't like I was cheating and anyway we technically weren't together. I mean I like Alice but really cant say how much I like her.

Whatever. Rose is right I probably shouldn't push her anyway she is a vampire after all. I walked back into the sculpture exhibit. I decided that I would continue being nice to the tour guide but I wouldn't be overly flirty. I had gotten the answer to my question any way.

We left from the sculptures to see ceramics and eighteenth century painters. We continued the tour, Alice stayed close to me but she never once spoke to me.

After the tour jenny gave me her number and I heard the low rumbling growl coming from Alice who was right beside me. After jenny walked away I threw the paper in the nearest trashcan. She was cute and sweet I guess but she was really just a test to see if Ali really was jealous. I saw Alice's lips pull up in a small smile at the gesture.

Alice pulled Emmett to the side and left me with Rose. "So… you stopped flirting with her."

"Yea I guess. So?"

"Nothing... I'm just wondering why you did it." She looked smug

I shrugged "I had the answer to my question."

She was about to speak when Alice and Emmett came back. Emmett took her hand

"Rosie, babe there's something I want you to see."

**Alice POV**

I pulled Emmett away to talk to him for a minute. "Em I want to show her alone."

He looked at me unsurely. "Ali, are you sure? You haven't been known to hold your temper well."

I sighed "Em as much as it hurt to see her flirt with that slut, it would hurt me beyond any conceivable notion if Bella was hurt. I'll be fine."

He had a smug smirk on. "You're sprung on the human and you're not even dating her yet. Don't worry I'll get Rose away."

"Thank you Emmett and I'm not whipped."

He rolled his eyes "Sure you're not."

We walked back to Rose and Bella. They looked like they were having a conversation. Emmett grabbed Rosalie's hand "Rosie, babe there's something want show you."

They walked off. Bella looked nervous. It was too cute. My anger over her shameless flirting earlier was completely dissipated. I took her hand my voice soft and just above a whisper. "Come on Bella I want to show you something."

I led her through a few rooms and into a smaller room labeled anonymous works

I walked her to a rather large painting of a small girl wearing a black leotard in a flying ballerina move. (AN: if anyone knows the name of one tell me so I can put it in.) I stood in front of it with Bella.

"Ali this is beautiful." She looked awestruck. I couldn't help the sense of pride that came from her looking at the picture.

"Thank you it is my only human memory." I told her not taking my eyes off of the painting. "I haven't seen this picture in so long. We were forced to leave the area that we were in at the time not long after I had finished it"

I could feel her eyes boring into my skull "are you saying you painted this."

"Yes in 1931 if I remember correctly. I had just recently found the family and Carlisle built me an art studio to try and make me feel welcome. He was trying to cheer me up cause I was having trouble adjusting to my life as a vampire and the fact that I couldn't remember being human at all. The only thing I could ever remember was this." I pointed at the painting.

We stood there in silence until she decided to speak. "Ali this is gorgeous. Who else have you shown this to?"

"No one but you, I had planned to show Carlisle to let him see what I was using the studio to do but Emmett had an accident on his way to do something for Rosalie."

She looked at me confused. I answered before she could ask. "Emmett met his singer and it didn't go to well."

She was silent for a few minute then she spoke again "so this is you in the painting?"

"Actually I'm not sure. I guess so but when I painted it from the memory I felt like I was watching it not doing it. I mean I love to dance but looking at this painting I feel like I've seen it happen but it wasn't me. I just really wish I could remember it." I felt the tears sparkle in my eyes.

She looked at me and placed her hands on my cheek and used her thumb to wipe my imaginary tears. "Ali I know we were supposed to spend the day out but can we go home I think we should talk."

"Yeah babe I think that would be good."


	14. Break Downs and Break Throughs

**AN: thnx to all my reviewer. I love all of you. Keep R&Ring. oh check out my Rose/Emmett one shot inspired by a line from this story. its a really cute mix of angst and fluff. it's called you are my choice. from Rosalie's POV**

**Bella POV**

We found Emmett and Rosalie and let them know that we wouldn't be spending the day out as planned. Emmett was bit saddened but he understood. Rose just looked at the two of us with her knowing look

Rose and Emmett chose to continue with their day in Seattle. Alice held my hand and we walked to the car. We stood in front of the driver side door I should have known something was up

"I think you should get to drive your car back"

I stared at her incredulously. "I should what?" it came out more high pitched then I intended it to.

She just rolled her eyes "well I had to replace your truck since it's my fault that you don't have it anymore. I had bought this for me but I'm giving it to you unless you want something different."

I looked at he then back at the car. I knew from experience that for the Cullen's their cars were special to them so for her to give me her car was major. I couldn't let her do it.

"Ali I love the car but I can't accept it. It's yours I know how important your car is to you." She opened her mouth to protest but I stopped her, before she could speak. "If it means that much to you that you replace my car then I promise I will let you drag me to take this one if you bought it for yourself."

The way her eyes lit up was one of the best sites in the world. Her smile made everything disappear, and the world, if only for that moment, was perfect. We got into the car and she drove off at a speed NASCAR racers would be scared of.

It took us a little over an hour to get back to my house. I noticed during most of the ride Alice seemed distant. Other than asking me if I wanted to listen to the radio she said nothing the whole trip.

We pulled up to my driveway she put the car in park but didn't move to get out. I looked over at hr and she seemed to be contemplating really hard on something. I couldn't take the silence any longer. "Ali, are you okay." She started. This was weird for two reasons, one because she's a vampire and two because she's Alice, she see's the future; no one is ever able to startle her.

She turned her head to me "I'm sorry I was in my own mind. Come on lets go inside." We got out the car and I noticed she seemed tense as we walked to the house. Her eyes kept drifting to the forest line around my house. It was making me slightly uneasy.

We walked in the house and I went into the living room. She came and sat beside me. I immediately moved closer to her. "Alice, please tell me what's wrong?"

She sighed and looked at me and wrapped her thin arms around me pulling me closer to her. "There are a few things actually." She spoke softly, burying her face in my hair. "I guess the first is Jacob" she didn't look as thought that was the major problem but it looked like she was trying to start with the least problematic.

"What does Jake have to do with anything?" I asked relaxing more into her slight frame.

"He was here today. He'll be back." She looked sad and I couldn't figure out why. I was used to the hostility when the Cullen's spoke of the wolves but never the sadness I saw in her eyes.

"do you know what he wants?" we hadn't really been on good terms since I spent a lot of my time with my vampires and he spent most of his time with his pack brothers.

"He heard the Edward left." I now understood why e came and why she was saddened by this. I wasn't sure what to say so I just nodded. We sat in silence for a while then she spoke again. "What will you tell him when he asks why Edward left?"

"I hadn't thought about it. I don't know, what should I tell him?"

"It's up to you?" her voice was emotionless when she said this.

I turned my head slightly so I could see her face when I spoke "you know Jacob will want to kill HIM if I tell him what happened right?"

Her eyes darkened and her nostrils flared "He deserves it and death by wolves will be a lot more pleasant then what I'll do to him when I catch up to him."

I laid my head on her shoulder, and she seemed to relax but I cold still feel her breathing was a little faster than normal for someone that doesn't need to breathe. I attempted to change the subject. "Do you still paint?"

"No not in years Jasper hated to be ignored and hen I would paint I liked to work in solitude. The way you are when you're reading or writing something is how I would get when I painted. He would get upset and after countless arguments I finally just gave it up." She shrugged like it was no big deal but I could tell she missed it. I couldn't believe that he would make her give up something that was such a big part of who she is was completely selfish.

"I think you should go back to doing what you love no matter what jasper says. If it can put smile on you face then to me it's worth doing. You really pretty when you smile." My eyes widened when I realized what I said and I felt the heat from my blush creeping through my cheeks.

"Aww thanks Bells" she kissed my cheek. I can't explain the feeling I got when her lips touched my skin, I just know I liked it. It was in that moment that I was sure that I was slowly falling for Alice Cullen.

"You're welcome. So are you going to go back to painting, no matter what jasper says?" I felt my chest tighten as I finished my sentence realizing that she was in act in a relationship with him. The fact it wasn't me actually hurt a lot, I wonder if this is how she felt when I was flirting with that girl at the museum.

She half sighed half chuckled. "Jasper really has no say in anything I do anymore." I felt the hope build in my chest but I forced it down.

"Why is that?" I hope I didn't sound too eager.

What she said next made me want to jump for joy and do a happy dance "well our relationship is all but legally over and I've had Carlisle call the family lawyer to have him draw up the paper work once I sign I'm a free woman."

My lips spoke before my brain could. "That's great" I was a bit too enthusiastic. I back tracked and tried to clear up my meaning. "I mean if it's what you want. Are you okay with it?" in my mind I was screaming please be okay with this.

She giggled at my verbal diarrhea "yes Bells I'm okay it was my choice. My feelings are being pulled in a different direction and I started to see that jasper wasn't who I wanted. It was the idea of being in a relationship that made me get with jasper not true love. He expressed that he still wants to be with me but he's just not where my heart lies"

The intensity in which her eyes bore into me made my heart speed up. I saw so much in her gaze longing want lust but most of all love. There was no doubt in my mind that her answer to the question I was about to ask

Before I could get the words out however my stomach growled and she broke her gaze.

"The human is hungry. Come I want to cook for you I've been watching the food network and I would like to show you what I've learned." Before I could object she had stood up and pulled me with her.

She went into the kitchen and flitted about gathering the things she would need to cook. She stopped for a moment when she took out the peanut oil from the cabinet, it had been there since I moved in Charlie used it to cook his fish in when I wasn't here but since I cook now it just sits in the cabinet. She was having a vision and from the looks of it not a very good one. She came out of the vision and looked down at the bottle in her hand as if it had committed some real offense. Then she walked over to the garbage and threw it out. I didn't get it until she said something. "Is there anything else your deathly allergic to that I should know about before I start?"

"I'm allergic to peanut oil?"

As fast as her head whipped around I would have thought she broke her neck if it wasn't impossible "yes Bella!! Deathly allergic!! How could you not know that?"

"I've never had peanut oil before. Not that I know of anyway. My mom didn't keep it in the house so I never cooked with it. I'm sorry" I hopped on the counter

She sighed. She seemed to be doing that lot today. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. But my vision scared me." She moved to stand in front of me "I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you" the sadness returned to her eyes. I spoke t it made without thinking again

"You know beautiful people shouldn't cry" I said running my hand through her hair. She looked up at me and before I could think about what I was doing I pressed my lips to hers. My hands cupped her face. It was pure bliss. I think the best moment was when her hands wrapped around my torso and her lips began to move with mine. I could feel my heart beat faster with each passing second. I felt y stomach doing back flips, and I could tell you every part of my body that was touching Alice's and then the flashbacks started and I froze.

Memories came flooding back to me, violent and fast. I started shaking. "Bella are you okay? Bella talk to me, say something please."

**ALICE POV**

"You know beautiful people shouldn't cry?" her sweet voice filled my ears making my heart want to sing. Her hand was running through my hair and making me shiver slightly. It was to light for a human to detect. I looked up into her eyes. They were so gorgeous brown, expressive and sexy. Before I knew it her lips were pressed against mine they were soft and warm and taste sweet. Her hands were holding my face and my arms found their way around her torso as I tiptoed to reach her lips better as mine started moving perfectly in sync wit hers.

Being this close to her I could feel it every time her heart beat which was continuously increasing. Everything was great and then she just stopped. I stepped back thinking maybe she regretted it, when I noticed her eyes were closed and she was shaking. "Bella are you okay? Bella talk to me, say something please." I was entering a full scale when she opened her eyes. She didn't speak as she got down off the counter; she steps forward and wraps her arms around me

"Alice I'm scared" and then the tears fell. I held her while she cried I realized this is the breakdown Rosalie was talking to me about.

_Flashback_

_(Last night hunting with Rosalie)_

"_What's wrong Pixie?" Rose asked about my sullenness. Believe it or not she isn't as self absorbed as everyone says. That doesn't mean I couldn't poke fun._

"_Aww don't I feel special princess vanity noticed me."_

"_You know Pixie if it wasn't for this new closeness I've developed with Bella I'd beat the hell out of you."_

_Rolling my eyes I turned and took off Rose right on my heels. I made to my favorite tree and scaled it in two seconds flat. Second's later rose was beside me. _

"_Seriously Pixie what's up? You aren't as upbeat s you normally are."_

"_I don't know I guess just feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I mean so much has changed in such a sort time. I want to be there for Bella but I don't know what to do. And it's not like she actually offers up any information on how she is feeling. When I try to talk to her she just shuts me out, she ignores me or changes the subject. I don't push the issue cause I don't want it to feel like I'm forcing her to talk about it if she's not ready. But I see her hurting and I feel helpless"_

"_Honestly babe there is nothing you can do until she's ready to deal with the pain. You can't help her until she wants it."_

_I leaned my head on her shoulder "how long will it take he to want help and how will I know when she wants help if she won't talk to me?"_

"_Trust me you'll know. Like most it'll probably come in the form of a break down. It's when she'll open up to you about her feelings and confide in you about her fears. And it's when she'll need your love the most. I can't promise it'll be easy but I can promise it'll be worth it."_

_End flashback_

Bella held on to my shirt as tight as she could, sobbing onto my chest. I stood with her arms wrapped securely around her, awaiting her next move. It burned my soul to see my angel so crushed. I continuously whispered comforting words to her letting her know I was here for her and that I wasn't going anywhere ever.

She eventually calmed down and I sat in one of the kitchen chairs with her in my lap. She wrapped her hands around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder. I spoke first knowing she might need a prompt to actually break the damn of her feelings. I choose the only question I could think of because I still wasn't sue what happened one minute I was kissing my reason for existence and then I was holding her while her world shattered. "Bells, sweetheart can you please tell me what's wrong?"

She stated shaking her head and sniffing "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry -"

I had to cut her off before she could continue "Baby, please don't apologize. Please don't put the blame for any of this on yourself."

She sniffed "but.. I kissed you just now and that night too. If could have just kept my hormones under control I wouldn't be the unstable ball of emotions I am right now." I wanted to stop her but I knew she needed to get it all out uninterrupted so I let her continue. "I can't get a peaceful nigh sleep. I don't eat properly. I'm scared of my own fucking shadow." Tears were streaming down her face again but she continued "I'm tired of the waking nightmares and the constant fear that he'll come back. I just want my life back" she tightened her hold on me. "Ali, please tell me that everything will be okay. Please tell me it will go back to how it was before. Just… just tell me something."

I held her tighter and rub her back in what I hoped was a calming motion. "Babe I can't promise that everything will be okay or that things can go back to how they" were but I can promise you that no one will ever, EVER hurt you again, and no matter what ill be here with you, to help you fight away all the monsters in your closet." Her heart rate made the slightest decrease so I kept talking. "Now I want you listen to me but don't just listen with your ear listen with your heart. What you said about this being you fault is completely wrong. What happened that night between us to me was magical and it was more than just teenage hormones. And I was a more than willing participant. Ed…" I trailed off with his name feeling her flinch beneath my arms "HE had NO right to do what he did. And he and he alone is responsible for his action, and he will pay for them. I am sorry though I should have seen it sooner. I should have been here to stop him but I wasn't and I feel…" she looked up at me

"I'm very glad you got ere when you did. Just promise me you'll always be right on time when I need you."

"Babe you got me even when you don't want me. I'm not leaving no matter what. Bells I have to tell you I love you. I guess what I mean to say is I'm in love with you. Everything about you, from you smile to you walk to crinkle your eyebrows when you're confused to how stubborn you can be when there's something you don't want to do. Isabella Marie wan I love everything about you. I know this probably isn't the best time to tell you this but I couldn't hold it in any longer. You don't have to reciprocate my feelings I just wanted you to know that no matter what I'll always be here for you"

I felt her felt her small frame shaking slightly and I thought she was crying again until I heard her giggles "Ali, I don't know how you could have made me happier than by saying what you just said. I can't say for sure that what I feel is love but I know it's a million times stronger than anything I've eve felt for anybody in my entire life. I hate being away from you I find the smallest thing about you alluring, and you're not the only who gets jealous." She wore a smug smirk.

"Yeah do you want to tell me what that was about I the museum earlier? Why were you blatantly flirting with that blonde bimbo?"

"She wasn't a bimbo." she said burying her face into my neck

"Yes she was. She was a dumb blonde."

"You're only saying that because you're jealous. Don't worry I think it's cute that you get all jealous."

"Well can I be justified in my jealously? I think I'm trying to say Bella will you be my girlfriend?"

She tightened her arms as tight as possible around my neck and kissed my cheek. I felt small shivers run down my spine. It was a great feeling especially knowing it came from Bella just makes it so much better.

"Yes Ali! Yes I will be your girlfriend." My chest swelled with pride this amazing girl sitting with me was mine and I hers. I held her as tight as I could with out hurting anything. I glanced at the counter. "Hey babe, are you still hungry?" Before she could answer her stomach rumbled causing us to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Ali can I just order a pizza? I promise you can cook for me tomorrow. Right now I just want to go sit on the couch and snuggle with my girlfriend"

I couldn't but smile at that "that sounds great to me. Come on."

We walked into the living room and got comfortable on the couch where we spent the entire night cuddling.


	15. Encountering Teen Wolf

**AN: sooooooooo sorry for the long wait. hope i still have a few readers. chap is sucky to me but i wanted to give ya'll something the next. I should have the next chap up soon.**

**Chapter 13:**** Bella's POV**

I awoke to banging on the door. I sat up and noticed the absence of my pixie around me. I scanned the room and couldn't find her. A small piece of paper caught my site from the coffee table. I picked it up and unfolded it.

_Good morning beautiful,_

_Your Jacob will probably be knocking on the door when you awake_

_I am not far from you; just call my name if you want me to return._

_I'm within hearing distance._

_I love you baby._

I smiled and reread it a few times before I remembered Jake was at the door I heard him knock again. I stood up and stretched. I heard Jake call to me through the door.

"Bells, open up I know you're here the bloodsuckers car is out here."

I really didn't want to face Jacob alone. I didn't want to have to relive that night with out Alice here to comfort me if I fall apart at the seams. I thought for a moment and decided to call for her. "Alice, come please." In less than a minute my angel was walking into my living room she sat on the couch and looked at me.

"Good morning sweetheart." I couldn't help the smile that overcame me. She giggled as Jake banged on the door again, "Babe, I think you should open the door before Teen Wolf breaks it."

Rolling my eyes at her comment I went to open the door for Jake. "What took you so long" he said as he lifted me into a hug. I visibly flinched and stiffened. He put me back down quickly noticing my posture. Alice was at my side instantly hearing my heart suddenly pick up speed.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" she stood far away from Jake with her arms open, knowing this was art of the reason why I called for her.

I walked over to her and fell into her arms. She wrapped her arms around me, and walked me into the living room and sat with me on the couch. Jake followed reluctantly behind us. He stood in the doorway watching our exchange. Alice was still holding me and I had wrapped my arms around her. I saw Jacob flinch at my close proximity to my vampire.

Jake spoke first breaking the short uncomfortable silence with a string of questions. "I thought the bloodsucker left? What is she doing here? And why is she holding you so tight? Why did you flinch when I hugged you?" I stopped him in his rambling so I could hopefully answer most of his questions

"Jake sit and I'll tell you everything I can" I sighed as he took a seat resigned to relive the worst moment of my life as I answered his questions. I felt Alice tighten her arms around me and bury her face in my hair simultaneously comforting the both of us with her close proximity.

I saw Jake's eyes narrow and his hands start to sake slightly. "Does she have to sit so close?"

I answered with a simple "yes"

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. "So did the Bloodsucker really leave?" he looked hopeful.

It actually hurt to see the hope shine in his eyes because I knew that he didn't have a chance. I loved Jake with all my heart but I could never be in love with him especially now that I have my Alice. I only see him as a friend. "Yes Jake he's gone."

"And he better never step foot back in forks unless he wants to die a painful death." Alice snarled her voice dripping with venom and truth. Jake looked at her with a mix of confusion at her words and surprise at the ferocity of them.

He spoke to me but didn't take his eyes off of me and the way Alice was sniffing at me. I knew she was trying to calm herself but to him it must've looked a bit weird and dangerous, "so if he's gone why is the half-pint still here and what did he do that has her thong in a twist?"

Before I could answer Alice glared at Jacob but replied calmly rationally. "listen _dog_ I'm trying to stay civilized because Bella likes you now seeing as up until this point I hadn't said anything rude I will continue to be civil unless you call me anything other than my name, which is Alice, and I will call you Jacob. I am here because Bella wants me here and I'll be here unless she asks me to leave."

She got a slight saddened look in her eyes. I looked at her and whispered "trust me I would never ask that of you." I leaned closer and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She got a slight smile on her face then continued with what she was saying. "As for what that asshole did that is not my place to tell you if Bella wishes to share it with you it is her choice." She went back to holding me tightly and burying her head in my hair.

Jacob looked at Alice a little incredulously and then at me as if he was trying to figure out some extremely hard puzzle. "Bells can you please just explain to me what is going on? I mean, why is the shor – I mean Alice – so angry with the other bloodsucker and why are you two acting so strangely. It's almost as if… no never mind that's ridiculous."

I knew what he was going to say and I knew that he would eventually find out so I choose to acknowledge the second part of his statement first. I sighed the spoke knowing he probably wasn't going to like this "Jake we aren't acting weird at all, my girlfriend is merely comforting me because she knows this is going to be difficult for me."

I felt Alice shift slightly so that she could still hold me but she could be alert in case Jake lost control. He looked back and forth between us as if not believing his ears, the asked, "what do you mean by girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend, lover, match, partner significant other, soul mate, or future wife it all applies." Whoa did I really say that last one, I knew I did when Alice's attention shifted to me for a few seconds and then back to Jake, who was trembling violently.

His breathing was harsh and the he looked like he was straining against his own body to stay in control. When he spoke his voice was labored and pained "so what you just jump out of bed with one leech and into to bed with the next, just forgetting about the good guy who's been on the side line waiting for you to notice him. Are you just fucking every vampire you know? What kind of slut are you?"

Before I knew what was happening Jacob was being throw through my living room window by Alice. I could barely see through my blurred eyes from the tears that had fallen after Jake's word registered in my mind, but I heard Alice's voice quite clearly as she yelled at Jacob. "IF YOU EVER DISRESPECT MY BELLA AGAIN I PROMISE I WILL PERSONALLY DETATCH YOUR GENITALS FROM YOUR BODY, CUT THEM INTO TINY PIECES AND FEED THEM TO YOU. NOW LEAVE!!!"

I knew when Jacob left because Alice was by my side whispering comforting words in my ears telling me how wrong he was and that his words were only fueled by hurt. She also had her cell phone in the other hand trying to get somebody here to fix the window a.s.a.p.

I was just sitting quietly crying, and wondering if everybody would think the same thing as Jake if they found out about me and Alice. It's not like I could tell anyone what really happened, so they would be left to draw their own conclusions. If everybody thinks the same thing there has to be some truth to it doesn't it. Jacob s supposed to be my friend and he thinks I'm a slut, how can any body think ay better of me.

I was sobbing by this point. Alice had finally finished her conversation with the contractor who was fixing the window. She came over and knelt down in front of me, waiting for me to look up. I finally turned to her, chest heaving and red eyed.

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**Alice** **POV**

I turned back to Bella as I hung up the phone. She looked to be on the verge of a mini break down; I moved to kneel before her. I waited patiently for her to gather her self before she turned to me. Looking in her red rimmed eyes I could see the self pity and loathing she felt for herself at the moment and it was crushing me to see her like this. If it wasn't for the treaty I'd go and kill that dog.

I spoke softly "Baby, please stop crying. I promise you nothing that _dog _said was true, and the people that count wouldn't think so ever." She sniffed but otherwise stayed quiet. "Bells please talk to me. Let me know what's wrong so I can fix it; I hate to see you like this." Shoe slowly turned her head back to me and stared at me for a few minutes with the most vacant expression I'd seen on her. When she spoke her tone was so hopeless tears that would never fall, sprang to my eyes.

"Alice, what if I can't be fixed. What if this is all there is. What if _HE _broke something that can't be fixed? If this is all that I am why would you want to be with me, I don't even want to be with me."

"Baby don't say things like that. I want to be with you because I love you you're an amazing person and nothing anybody says or does will change that. What He did to you was wrong but don't let it consume you. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere ever. You'll heal from this emotionally but its going to take some time; just don't give upon your self because I'm not giving up on you. Trust me babe its going to get better." I sat on the couch with Bella curled up in my lap me holding her together while she fell apart.

Bella had cried herself to sleep in my arms. I sat thinking of everything that was happening between us. Bella hadn't told me she loved me but she admitted to having strong feelings for me. I know for a fact that I am completely in love with Isabella Swan, and nothing anybody would do would change that. Now I just had to show Bella she was my heart.

I want Bella to see just how special she is, and know that I couldn't let her get hurt ever again. Seeing her eyes look so empty hurt me deep down in my soul.

It was about 2 p.m. I got up to attempt making Bella breakfast but she wrapped her hands around me tighter, whispering "please stay." I hadn't realized she was awake. I too caught up in my own mind.

"Of course I will." Bella was almost completely on top of me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer to me. My thirst didn't even bother me. My love for the gorgeous human girl in front of me was enough to over ride any danger my bloodlust would have posed.

"Baby girl are you okay??" I asked running my hands up and down her back slowly. She pressed her head into my chest and sighed deeply before speaking

"Yes I'm fine Ali. I just don't know what's going to happen to me. I'm lost right now." I caressed her hair lightly while replying.

"Babe no matter how lost you get I'll always be around to find you. And as for knowing what's going to happen even for me the future is still mainly a mystery. We're just going to take it one day at a time. What's going to come will come and I'll e right here to help you though it and protect you if you need it. As for right now I'm going to get up and make you something to eat. What would you like?"

Bella looked contemplative. "I think I want bacon and eggs."

"Don't humans usually have that for breakfast?" I my not eat but I think I know which food are to be had at what times.

She giggled at this. "Yes Al, usually it is breakfast food but it isn't written anywhere that you can't have it at other times of the day. So can I have it please??" she looked at me with those big brown eyes and there was no way I could have said no. I smiled at her, "come on human let get you some breakfast/lunch."

She stood up and I made my way to the kitchen. It was simple but it felt good to have a few minutes or normalcy. Too bad it didn't last; as we entered the kitchen the phone rang…

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AN: sorry about how suckish this was. I tried. R&R PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	16. Phone calls And Visions

**Sorry it's been so long since the last update. I had finals, then my computer crashed and I lost most of my work including 2 of my finals and my next 2 chapters which I had to do over from scratch. I'm starting to get a little stuck in where I want this story to go so if you have an idea you would like to see put in the story write in a review or PM. It could be anything a outfit or a name or phrase a place even a situation or event. I'll try and incorperate them into the next chapter. This chap is short but i promise the next one will be longer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but I like to rent Alice and Bella on the weekends. on with the show.**

**Alice POV**

I went to the kitchen to start cooking while Bella answered the phone. She answered the phone, and stood facing me, watching me cook.

"Hello… "

I could hear the other person clearly and knew that it was Charlie calling. He spoke in a harsh tone. "Isabella Marie Swan, would you like to tell me why Jacob is standing in front of me telling me of a relationship you and Alice Cullen are supposed to be in. And why am I just hearing about it?"

Bella blushed at Charlie's word even though he couldn't see her. She started to stumble through her words "uh… well… uhm dad… see, the thing is…" I couldn't help but giggle at her cute nervousness. She scowled at me. After she took a deep breathe she restarted her sentence with a little bit more assurance. "Listen dad me and Alice have just started dating recently like yesterday recently. And Jacob only found out because he came to find out if Ed…" she hesitated on HIS name "if all the Cullen's left. Jacob act like an immature ass and so Alice kicked him out. Don't try to defend him on this dad he was wrong and so, when he is ready to apologize maybe I'll think about listening. Until such a time comes I have nothing to say to him." Charlie seemed to want to say more but changed his mind and decided to let it go.

"Okay Bella, I'll leave it for now but we'll definitely be talking when I get in."

"Okay dad. Bye."

By this time I had already finished her bacon and was making her eggs. This stuff is extremely disgusting; I don't understand how anyone could eat this. But it's what my love wants. I wondered back over to the refrigerator taking out some orange juice for Bella to drink when I had a vision of jasper coming here to Bella's house if I don't go talk to him. I had to go and find out what he wanted. I wouldn't let him get close to Bella if his intentions weren't good.

When I came out of my vision I was over. Bella was standing in front of me with her arms around me waiting expectantly. I sighed audibly. I really wish I could stop that. I pulled Bella close to me, and held her for a second taking in the unique scent that could only be described as Bella. I pulled back and looked at her for a moment before I spoke. "I had a vision." She gave me a 'tell me something I don't know' look. "I need to go to my house and speak with jasper." She was quiet for a moment then her look was determined. I knew she would want to come with me. It was sweet and brave but dangerously stupid. "Baby, as much as I would love for you to come home with me. I can't have you and jasper so close. I can't handle the thought of you getting hurt."

She looked defeat at first then I noticeable panic started to set in. "Alice are you going to leave me hear alone. What if HE comes back Ali? I can't fight him off. Please baby, don't leave me." I grabbed her by her shoulders to try and stop her shaking. "Bella… Bella, listen to me I'm not leaving you here alone okay. I'm going to have Rosalie stay here with you until I get back. She'll protect you I promise. I won't stay gone long okay." She had started to calm down.

I called Rosalie and told her about my vision she was on her way over. I finished cooking for Bella and was now sitting and watching her eat. It always interested me when humans ate, but Bella was extremely mesmerizing. I heard Rosalie pull up in the drive way and stood to give Bella a hug before I left. I held her close to me getting lost in how she felt pressed against me. I loved how warm and soft she is. I don't think I would ever get used to it.

"I'll see you in a little while okay beautiful. I promise I won't be long." She let me go reluctantly. I made my way out the door and into the rainy forks weather. I stopped in front of Rose. "The dog may be coming back to apologize for being a – I think the words Bella used were immature ass. She's eating breakfast in the kitchen. Please go keep her company until I get back she's still afraid of being alone."

Rose chuckled at me. "Okay Alice I will keep your human safe. Is that everything or would you like to give me the number to 911."

I stuck my tongue out at her and hoped in my car. I really was hoping to spend sometime with just my girlfriend.


	17. Apologies and Pranks

**AN: I own nothing. Another sleep deprived written chapter**

**Alice POV**

I arrived at my house. Esme was at the door waiting for me. I walked up to her and hugged her tightly. She wrapped her arms around me and we stood there for a while. I had been holding my emotions inside trying to be strong for Bella. She was giving me the comfort I needed and letting me fall apart for a moment.

She pulled away and looked at me with concern. "Ali, sweetheart, are you okay?" it was a good question. Me being okay at the moment depended on Bella. I hated seeing her hurting and it killed me that I couldn't do anything.

"Honestly mom I'm not sure. I feel like my world is balanced on an axis." She looked at me quizzically as we walked in the house. I sighed and explained what I meant, "in the last few days my world has become solely focused on Bella. Mom if you were to see her you would understand my dilemma. She's not the same since what he did to her. She's lost the sparkle in her eyes. And the smallest thing sets her off. I just wish there was something more I could do. I'm worried about her."

She smiled sadly at me. "Ali, sweetie you know she'll get over this she's a strong girl. You have to let her come to you. You know how stubborn she is. She likes to be in control of her own life and right now she doesn't feel like she is. When Edward did what he did she felt like he took that from her."

I sat listening to what Esme said and it made sense. It also made me feel like I had a better insight to what Bella was feeling. I thanked Esme and proceed to the library where Jasper was waiting for me.

I opened the door and stepped inside closing it behind me. Jasper was sitting at one of the many desks in the room. He looked up at me when I entered. I stayed quiet and waited for him to break the silence. I choose not to look into the future for what he would tell me, I knew he deserved to express his feelings without me having prior knowledge and trying to pacify his feeling before he told them to me. What he said first was no where near what I was expecting.

"I'm sorry." The looked I gave him was of complete incredulity and he noticed because he chuckled. Then he continued, "I know given my prior reaction you probably expected yelling and screaming but try to understand I was hurt because I knew that I was loosing you and I couldn't do anything about it. I lashed out trying to hurt you and it was wrong. I am a southern gentleman and the way I behaved in the past few weeks has been appalling, I was raised better than that. So I'm sorry." He looked ashamed.

I looked at him and could see the man I fell in love with. The sweet military boy with a sexy southern drawl was standing right in front of me. I couldn't stay mad at him when he looked so adorable. I smiled at him, "apology accepted Cowboy." He blushed as I used our private nickname for him.

"Thank you, Butterfly." He looked at me and tilted his head to the side. It was like he was truly seeing me. I started to fidget under his intense scrutiny. He laughed. "She's making you human, it suits you. I mean she's good for you." He smiled sadly. It hurt to see him hurt and to know that this was the end of us as husband and wife.

"I'm sorry Jasper, I –" he stopped me. "Alice we've been married for over sixty years. I know you almost better than you know yourself, so I know you didn't mean to fall for her. As an empath I can feel how much you love me, but as your best friend I can see how she completes you in I way I never could. I don't need my power to see that. I can't say that this doesn't hurt and I can't be okay with losing you at least not yet, but I love you enough to know when I'm fighting a losing battle. I felt how much it hurt you when you tried to ignore your feeling I don't ever want to be the cause of that feeling again. I started out thinking this was just a phase and I could push you to get over it but the night when you came home from Bella's after the incident with Edward… I could feel how crushed you were that she was hurt and I could feel your love for her. I don't think I've ever felt anything so potent. To say I was jealous is an understatement. And I know myself well enough to know I'll be jealous about this for a while which is why I'm leaving."

I looked up sharply at this "Jasper please don't. This is going to kill Esme. She's already lost Edward forever and now you. Please don't let my stupid actions run you away from the family. I promise won't bring Bella to the house much if you just stay. Please Jasper I'm begging." I was pleading now but I didn't care. He couldn't just leave like this I wouldn't let him.

He came over to me and wrapped me in a tight hug. "Mi amor escúchame por favor." He spoke to me in Spanish; it always calmed me to hear it come from him I don't know why but it did. I relaxed and listened to what he was saying to me. "I'm not leaving for ever, I just can't be here for a while. I need time to my self to get over you. I could never ask you to keep Bella away from the house this is her family as much as it is mine. And I want you to know that following your heart is never stupid. I followed my heart a long time ago and it led me to my first true love and the best family I could ever ask for."

"I love you Jasper. Promise me you'll come back as soon as possible." I hugged him as tight as I could, not ready to let him leave for an unordained amount of time. He held me for a while longer then he kissed my forehead and spoke, "I promise I will come back. I've never lied to you and I wont start now. You have my word. Now I will let you get back to Bella. Can you do me a favor and apologize to her for me. I am the only one in the family that hasn't been there for her and I want her to know I'm sorry. And just remember, te amo mariposa querida."

And with that he left. I looked for his future but it was cloudy. The only thing that was definite was his departure. I heard him start the Volvo and peel out of the drive way. I walked to Carlisle's office to finally make me and jasper's divorce final before going back to Bella.

**Bella POV**

Rosalie walked in and sat across from me taking Alice's recently vacated seat. She looked gorgeous as ever. "Hey Rose"

"How are you Bella?" she's looking at me as if she's trying to figure something out. It was slightly unnerving but I chose to ignore it. "I'm fine. Where's Emmett?? I'm surprised he's not with you."

She laughed it was a light sound that I hadn't truly gotten used to. It was still a little weird for, me to have Rose be so nice to me. "He went to hunt but he'll probably come by later." I nodded my head before getting up to wash my plate out.

She was looking at me with that stare again and I couldn't take it anymore "Rose is there something wrong, your staring is making me nervous."

She looked slightly abashed "sorry I'm curious as to what it is that makes you so special."

I was taken aback by her statement and not sure whether I wanted to be offended or not. It was like I hadn't thought about it before but to here her say it was kind of discomforting.

She continued speaking so I forgot about the inner battle with myself and listened to her. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be mean;" she took an unnecessary breathe "it's just weird for me, a vampire who has live for close to a century and come across many humans, to come across a human such as yourself that has such an appeal to vampires. I've never met or even heard of a human like that before. I mean the family has been going to school for years and no human has ever stood out"

She took a few seconds to look at me again "and then we came across you in the lunchroom and no matter how much we wanted and some of us even tried to deny that you weren't special we could all see it that day. There was a pull to you. It's something about you that's different. Something makes you special and I was just trying to figure it out."

I was awed at what Rosalie had said. She thought I was special. I don't know why but her acceptance was always a necessity to me. "wow Rose you really think I'm special. That means a lot to me."

She laughed "you know bells you really should get over this lack of self confidence."

I rolled my eyes "says princess vanity as she sits in my kitchen looking like a supermodel."

She glared at me for a few seconds before shaking her head with a smile "you know you really need to spend less time with Alice."

I laughed. as I heard the front door bang open and yell "honey I'm home". I had the perfect opportunity to cause some mischief. I smirk "well actually I got that from my favorite vampire teddy bear"

The smile fell from her face and turned into a scowl aimed at Emmett as he round the corner. "hey Bella bear how ar…" he trailed off seeing the scowl on Rose's face.

He instant shrank away and started denying claim to whatever he did wrong. "babe, I didn't do it. I know I didn't do it cause I've been hunting for the past 6 or 7 hours." It was hysterically funny to watch Emmett cower away from his wife who had to be one-third his size.

"you don't even know what I'm upset about. You just worried I won't give you any." She said advancing on him. He looked around trying to find any way out of his situation, when his eyes landed on me with a pleading look.

"bells come on help me out she'll listen to you."

I smirk seeing a way to use this to my advantage. "I'll make her stop before she castrates you only if you agree not to make fun of my anymore for my non-existent sex life."

Rosalie was circle around Emmett by this time. "okay, okay call her off she might hit me." I laughed at his fearful tone.

"rose, leave him alone I really did get that from Alice." She laughed with me.

"I know but it was fun making him squirm" she kissed Emmett on the check then came and sat down next to me.

Emmett looked dumbfounded. "You mean this was a trick." He pouted like a little kid.

"Sorry big boy but you're easy." I laughed again

"You guys are mean."

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Mi amor escúchame por favor - My love, listen to me please

te amo mariposa querida - I love you darling buttrerfly


	18. Teen Boys and Bath Time Talks

**AN: Thanx for all the reviews and faves and alerts that are still coming in even this late in the story I love it. this chapter too so long to write cause I've been sick for like ever. Hope its not crappy!! enjoy! Oh and Btw for those Emmett3 Rosalie lovers i have 2 Rosalie/Emmett stories up. go check them out.  
**

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**Chapter 17:**

**Bella POV**

I was sitting with Rose still teasing Emmett about his fear of his wife when both vampires suddenly went still. They were gazing at each other and I could tell they were having a conversation; it was just too fast for me to comprehend.

Just as I was about to ask what was wrong, I heard loud banging coming from the front door. I felt the fear taking control of my body. I thought Edward had returned. Rosalie pulled me close to her and whispered that it wasn't Edward, she held me tight through my small panic attack it wasn't until Jacob's voice started registering with me that I started to relax.

"BELLA!! OPEN THE DOOR!!" Jacob yelled. His voice sounded desperate.

I took a few deep breaths then moved to go open the door. Rose's arms tightened around me preventing me from going anywhere.

I sighed and spoke to Rose who was still holding me. "Rose let me go talk to him, he's not gonna leave until I do." I felt her growl against me.

"I don't trust Fido", I could still feel her growling and tightening her arms around me.

"I can handle teen wolf and his hormones." I tried to pull away but she wouldn't budge.

Emmett who had just been staring eagerly at the door finally looked away from Jacob's continual banging. "Rose let her talk to him, but Bells just know that if he does anything out of line, I reserve the right to give him an 'Attitude Adjustment' just so you know."

I laughed at him. He had recently discovered John Cena from wrestling according to Alice, and the 'Attitude Adjustment' is his favorite move. "Dually noted Teddy Bear"

Rose let me go and I finally opened he door. Jacob stood before me in cut of jeans and nothing else soaking wet from the pouring rain. "Am I supposed to be impressed, because if so you wasted your time I hate cheesy romance movies."

I heard Emmett laugh from the other room. Jacob rolled his eyes "we need to talk."

"So talk." I looked at him waiting.

"Can I at least come inside?" he asked

I raised my eyebrow at him and scoffed "no I wouldn't really feel comfortable with that."

He looked at me like I said something extremely unbelievable. "You're okay with having leeches in your house but not me. Bella why are you acting like this?"

My anger started to rise. He came here and insulted me and my girlfriend then comes back and wants to know why I'm acting like this doesn't offer an apology or anything. I can't believe the nerve of this kid. "Jacob you came here and disrespected not only me but my relationship with Alice." He cringed at her name "then you went and told Charlie on my like that would keep us apart, instead of letting me and Alice" he cringed again "find a way to tell him on our own. Do you really have to ask why I'm acting like this? Now if you want to talk we can but we do it right here. Get to the point because I honestly don't want to see you right now."

He was starting to shake but it wasn't out of control so I knew he wasn't gonna phase right now. I could tell he was hurt but right now I didn't care I wanted him to know he hurt me. he started to speak "so you and that small leech are really together and it wasn't just something you said to get me to leave you alone."

Jacob was starting to irritate me now "One: I'd appreciate it if you use her name when speaking about her or don't speak at all. Two: I would never say something like that just to make you leave me alone that's mean and cruel and I'm not that person. Three: I don't want you to leave me alone I want you be my best friend like you used to be I want my sun back" I could feel the tears falling but I couldn't stop them. "Jacob I don't know what's happened to you since this werewolf thing but I don't like it and honestly I can't deal with anymore stress right now. So when you can't control you temper tantrums and fix your attitude then come back and we will sit and talk like adults."

Jacob looked like he wanted to argue with me but he didn't, he just turned and walked away. I closed the door and I turned to go back to my two vampire protectors and was happily surprised see them replaced by my favorite pixie, smiling lovingly at me. "hey beautiful"

"hey" I smiled back.

I walked over to her and sat down on the couch beside her wrapping my arms around her. "How did your meeting with Jazz go?"

She laughed softly "surprisingly well. He apologized to me for his previous behavior and gave us his blessing" she kissed me on my forehead "he also told me to tell you he's sorry for not being there for you in light of recent events. He said he feels bad because he's the only one in the family that hasn't been there for you."

"tell him I said its okay. I understand his feelings on the situation." I really did see how he would be angry at me for pretty much stealing Alice from him.

"I can't he let after our talk. He said he'll be back eventually but for now he can't be around until he fully gets over me." I looked at Alice and she look saddened by this. I also notice she looked tired which was a shock considering vampires don't get tired. I realized that I wasn't the only one stressed out from everything all of this was taking a toll on my pixie too.

"Baby you look tired." She looked at me and smiled. "I am."

I was still confused though "I thought vampires couldn't get tired"

"We can't get physically tired but we do get emotionally and mentally drained just like humans"

I just nodded and stood up pulling Alice with me. I walked upstairs to the bathroom never letting her hand go. I started running a bubble bath. Then while the water was running I turned to Alice and kissed her softly "relax and let me take care of you for once." I started unbuttoning her shirt. I could feel her tense under my hands.

"Bells, I… I don't think I'm ready to go there yet. Its just… my contro…"

I giggled. "Shh. Neither am I. I only want to help you relax and what better way than a bubble bath with me."

She smiled at me before kissing me. I resumed unbuttoning her shirt and slid it down from her shoulders. I felt her pulling my shirt up slowly so I raised my arms. She dropped the shirt to the floor and went back to kissing me. I unbuttoned her jeans and slid them down her legs. I stepped back and looked at her naked body before me. She was absolutely gorgeous. "You know you have the body of a goddess." She smiled shyly and I could tell she would be blushing it was a boost to my ego that I could make a vampire blush.

I took off my pajama pants and underwear and stepped in to the tub then gestured for Alice to come and join me. She was hesitant at first but she stepped in the tub and situated her tiny frame in between my legs and realized in the soothing heat of the water. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me. I could tell she liked it because she purred.

It was a highly erotic sound and despite the water I could feel myself getting aroused. I was glad Alice was facing away from me so she couldn't see me blushing.

**ALICE P.O.V.**

It felt so good being wrapped in Bella's arms. It was like I had missed this all my life and was finally getting it. I couldn't help the purr that came from my chest. It obviously had positive effect on Bella because I could feel her squirm and smell her light aroused scent through the water. I decided to tease he a bit.

I started running my hands up and down her legs under the water. "what's wrong bells? You don't seem to be relaxing." I said playfully.

"N... No I'm fine. Just trying to make sure you're comfortable." I laughed at her obvious discomfort.

"Bells you don't have to be embarrassed about being aroused around me. It actually makes me happy to know I have this effect on you." I turn so I could reach her lips and kissed her. I may not be able to take my relationship with Bella to the next level but for now I was completely okay with thoroughly making out with my girlfriend. I felt her tongue sweep across my bottom lip and I happily obliged granting entrance to my mouth. we continued to kiss like this for a while. I was completely content in letting Bella control the moment.

Bella broke the kiss and looked at me with lust laden eyes. "You are the best kisser ever" I giggled "your sweet. But I'm sure I'm not besides you haven't kissed any other girls." She shifted slightly and looked down I could see the blood rushing to her cheeks.

"Oh my god! You kissed another girl!!" she looked up at me nervously.

"Actually two other girls" she looked so nervous. It was extremely cute. "when did this happen? Who was it? How come you didn't tell me?" I had turned around fully now and was straddling her legs. She was obviously amused by my continuous string of questions.

"Alice calm down I've never known anyone to want to hear about their girlfriend kissing other girls." I rolled my eyes.

"it's not like we were together when you did it so I can't get mad and besides I'm not the jealous type." She burst out laughing disrupting the water with the sudden movement. "I don't see what's so funny" she just looked at me and continued to laugh. She finally caught he breath and stopped laughing "I'm sorry babe but you were so serious when you said you weren't jealous and its so far from the truth." I rolled my eyes at her

"I'm not jealous" she looked at me disbelievingly "need I bring up a certain museum tour guide who you were angry at just for talking to me."

"That's different she was a slut and you weren't just talking the two of you were blatantly flirting."

"Whatever Sprite." She pulled me closer to her that was the one thing I loved about water it wade you weightless.

I was sitting with my legs and arms wrapped around Bella while she ran her hand over my bare back. I laid my head on my chest to hear her heart beat "Bells you still haven't answered my questions." She chuckled

"I'm not getting out of this am I?" I shook my head no. she sighed and resigned to tell me the answers I wanted. "Well both times were before I met you and the rest of the family. I've never really been interested in girls but never had an aversion either but I could say the same thing about boys. So the first time I kissed a girl was during a game of truth or dare. It was around the end of freshman year. A bunch of kids hanging out being childish and somehow I got roped into it. This girl Rebecca was known as the schools lesbian. According to rumors she had turned out have of the school. And it was her mission to sleep with every girl before she graduated. So we started playing the game and everybody had done a dare at least once and I hadn't so one of Rebecca's friends decided that I had to do a dare and naturally everybody agreed so the dare was chosen and had to kiss Rebecca. Now I had no problem with this. I thought it would be a simple peck on the lips and that's it. Rebecca had other plans. She tried to force her tongue down my throat. I slapped her and left. She wore my hand print for almost a complete two weeks." I smiled at her.

"aww my kitten has a lion's spirit." I laughed. "Shut up! You're lucky she didn't scar me for life." I giggled and kissed her on the cheek. "so how'd you end up kissing another girl."

She laughed "Rebecca plays a big role in that too actually. After she tried to suffocate me with her mouth I became her new mission. Apparently when she kissed me I ignited something in her. I don't if that happened during the three and a half seconds it took me to register what was going on or when I slapped her and left but she felt something. So for the next two or three weeks she spent her time trying to get me. I ignored all her advances and tried to avoid her as much as possible but damn if she wasn't persistent.

"One day she had me cornered and was telling me how I should just stop playing hard to get and give in to her already. I did the first thing that came to mind told her I was already seeing someone. I didn't know it but this senior Rachell was watching the whole thing. She came to my rescue and told Rebecca to fuck off because I was taken. And kissed me right there in front of her. It took me off guard but it was way more pleasant than Rebecca trying to eat my face. The kiss was soft and sweet and didn't make my skin crawl.

"I later found out that Rachell hated Rebecca ever since Rebecca stole her girlfriend from her the earlier in the year. She pretended to be my girlfriend for the last two weeks of school. I explained that I wasn't gay and she was completely fine with it. She still wasn't over her ex and was just looking for a way to piss off her Rebecca. Needless to say we didn't kiss anymore during our fake relationship we did hold hands and she would carry my books when walking me to class to keep up the façade."

I chuckled to my self. "what's so funny?"

"bells only you could find youself in those kind of situations" she laughed with me. "yeah I know. It's a talent."

"do you still talk to Rachell. She seemed nice." She smiled to her self. "Yeah I do on occasion. Last time I spoke to her she was back packing through Africa."

"Ooh that sounds like fun" we spent the rest of our bath time talking and enjoying each others company before we washed each other and got out.

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**AN: thanx for R&R ing**


	19. Big White Mansion

**AN: i'm so, so, so, so ,so sorry for the long wait my laptop broke, I had personal issues, and all on top of an extreme case of writers block.. I haven't gotten my laptop replaced yet but it will be in like two more weeks and I will christen it with a chapter definitely. Thanx to all the favorites and alerts and reviews I love each and every one of you. My B'day passed I'm that much closer to being able to buy alcohol. one more year to go. oh an amazing movie to watch and it got me over my writers block is "Eloise's Lover" it's such a good movie but it does have subtitles. sorry i know i hate them to but it's worth it. now enough of my ramblings on with the chapter!  
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**Chapter 18:**

**Alice POV**

It's been about 2 weeks since Bella and I told Charlie about us. He took it pretty well. He asked about Edward and whether us being together was the reason they broke up. I saw how uncomfortable it made Bella to talk about Edward so I assured Charlie that we just realized our feelings and that Edward had nothing to do with our relationship.

After Bella assured him that she was happy with me we let the conversation drop and I took Bella out on a proper date. We went to the movies in Port Angeles and then I took her out to dinner. It was a really fun night. We got back to her house and took a blanket out in her back yard and lay together staring at stars. It was an extremely clear night for forks.

Right now I'm in trig Waiting for the bell to ring so I can go meet Bella. We're going to my house for the first time since the incident with Edward. I think Esme wore Bella down with the constant calling.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the bell. I quickly gathered my stuff and went out to wait for Bella. I got into my car and turned the music up leaving both my door and the passenger door open. Me and Bella had decided not to be open about our relationship at school for now, which is why I didn't pick her up from class. A few minutes later Bella got into the car. And I closed my door as she did the same.

"Hey baby, I missed you!" she giggled at me. I really loved that sound.

"Ally I saw you like an hour ago we have AP English together."

I sighed petulantly "if you would just let me change my schedule to match yours-"

"Ally!" she groaned

"I'm just putting out there" I said as I pulled out of the parking lot. The drive to my house was silent. I looked over at Bella and she looked extremely nervous.

"Bells you know you don't have to do this, if you're not ready I'll take you home." I did miss being at home but if she wasn't ready I could wait as long as she needed to I was a vampire after all it's not like I was getting any older.

She looked at me and smiled. "Babe, stop worrying so much. Yes I am nervous. Extremely so but wanna go. I miss the family. Besides Rose called and threatened to 'go vampire on my ass' if I didn't get over there and play guitar hero with Emmett." She made the air quotes and everything. I laughed and she laughed with me.

I looked at her, it was really good to see her laughing and it felt even greater being the cause of that laughter. She looked at me and smiled again. "Ally, I know that you don't need to look at the road but it makes mw feel better if you do." I replied in the ever so mature way of sticking my tongue out at her but turned to the road anyway.

**Bella POV**

We were pulling up to the house and my nerves had spiked tremendously, then I heard Alice giggle. It was such a pretty sound and it always calmed me. "Bells I should warn you they've cooked for you and Esme isn't taking o for an answer. And since it's your welcome back meal and the first time Esme's been able to cook in a while she won't listen to any arguments and is prepared to tie you down to a chair" she was laughing by the end of her statement and I couldn't help but laugh too. I felt so much more relaxed.

After my laughter subsided some I replied with "its fine I'm hungry anyway" she smiled back.

"Well come on then let's not keep them waiting" in an instant she was beside my door. She opened it and took my hand, helping me out of the car. We made our way towards the giant white house.

Alice opened the front door and Emmett and Esme waiting there. "Bella! I missed you." Emmett shouted as soon as we opened the door he was keeping his distance but it looked like he wanted to rush and hug me so bad.

"Bella it's nice to see you again sweetheart. We've missed you around here so much." Said Esme. She also looked like she wanted to rush forward and hug me. I couldn't stand it. It didn't feel right not getting hugged by Esme and Emmett upon entry to the Cullen home.

"It's okay you can hug me. I won't burst into uncontrollable tears." Esme smiled and came forward and hugged me tightly against her. It always amazed me how a vampire who's supposed to be cold gave the warmest hugs ever. She held me for a good while. "I really missed having you around Bella" I hugged her back as tight as I could. "I missed being here Esme." After a while longer Alice spoke

"Didn't anybody miss me? I was gone too ya know!" and her signature pout was displayed on her face. Esme finally let go of me and moved to give Alice a hug.

"Of course you were missed sweetie. There wasn't the usual amount of mayhem going on without you here." Esme joked. Alice pulled back from the hug to look playfully offended and scoffed, "HEY! I resemble that remark. And I'll have you know I don't wreak mayhem. I have carefully structured plans of diabolic genius. Thank you very much." She said and squealed when Emmett picked her up and gave a bear hug.

He placed her back down and his eyes flickered over to me, but he made no moves to come over to me. I raised my eyebrow at him. "So I don't get a hug you big punk?" he looked shocked but covered it up and quickly came towards me and picked me up. "I'm a punk says the weak human." He chuckled. He held me tight and I felt at ease and safe knowing that my big brother would protect me from the outside world. "I missed you big brother." he held me closer. "I missed you too little sister" he put me down.

Esme looked at me then, "so I cooked-"

"And I helped" Emmett interrupted.

"Yes he helped. We made lasagna." So we made our way to the kitchen, where Esme made me a huge plate of food.

"Esme you know I cant eat all this right?" she smiled and said "I know sweet heart but I got so carried away when Rosalie told me you were coming."

I just realized Rosalie was nowhere in sight. I looked around the room half expecting her to appear in the room. Alice noticed my searching eyes, "whatcha looking for, babe?"

"Not what, who. Where's Rosalie?" Emmett answered me. "She's in the garage working on some secret project. She won't even tell me what it is and I'm her husband." Alice laughed at him

"Emmett you couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it." He poked his lip out in a cute little boy pout. Esme laughed at them and I couldn't do anything but smile. I really had missed it here.

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**Thnax for R&Ring.**


	20. AN

OMG! I'm so sorry for the long wait! I probably don't have any readers left but I had so much going on but I promise I haven't forgotten about this story. It's been on my mind a lot and I will be finishing it. I'm working on the next few chapters. I should have a chapter up in the next few days. I hope I still have sum fans. I'm thankful to those of you new readers who recently found my story and thought it was good enough to favorite and story alert it. Please believe me when I say I haven't forgotten about it. I promise to have another chapter up soon!

Love Starr


	21. Suprises Suprises!

**AN: Hey guys new chap is finally up! just a little bit of fluff to get me back into writing! I should be updating more frequently!**

**Bella POV**

I was in the middle of playing guitar hero with Emmett when Rosalie came into the house. She was wearing greasy coveralls and sneakers. It was a shocking site. I had never seen her wear anything other than designer clothing and high stiletto shoes. Somehow in the less than flattering clothes it made her even more beautiful.

She came in and stopped in the living room entrance way. She looked at me and smirked. "So bells I see you took my warning to heart. Glad to know I still got it!"

I laughed at her. "Very funny, Rose. It's surprising to know you own something that isn't designer." She rolled her eyes at me. "Shut up human." She walked away towards the stairs.

"Where are you going? You threaten me to get me here and then you don't spend any time with me at all. I'm hurt" I said with mock sadness.

She turned back to me and smirked. "Calm down tiger pants I'm just going to shower; besides I've seen you the most out of everyone else other than Alice."

"Touché" I laughed. She continued up to her room and me and Emmett continued playing our game. I don't know exactly where Alice went but I know her and Esme disappeared a small while ago. I knew she wouldn't leave me so I wasn't worried at all.

Rosalie was back down stairs in minutes looking as gorgeous as ever. She sat on the couch and picked up a magazine, and started flipping through it. "Where's Alice? I have a surprise for each of you I need her here." She said off-handedly.

I stopped and whipped around. "What surprise? How'd you get it past Alice? I don't like surprises." She looked over at me with a bored expression. "If I told you what the surprise was then it wouldn't be a surprise. As for me getting by Alice, it really wasn't that hard she's been over- pre-occupied with a certain human girl. And I know you don't like surprises but I promise you'll like this one. Now get back to playing your game Emmett's beating you. Emmett stop cheating, you ass. Now again I ask, where is Alice?"

I sighed and turned back to the game. "She's with Esme in the house somewhere."

**Alice POV**

Esme asked me to come help her in the garden. I could tell she wanted to talk about something but she hadn't decided whether or not to approach me with it so I couldn't get a clear vision on what it was. We walked out towards the garden in a comfortable silence. Esme always made me feel at ease when she was around.

We got to her garden and she handed me a pair of gardening gloves. "Can you start pulling up weeds while I water the plants, please?"

"Sure Esme." I moved through the plants puling weed up and throwing them into a pile, waiting for Esme to approach me about the reason she brought me out here.

Esme looked over at me, so I stopped what I was doing to give her my full attention. "Sweetheart I talked with Carlisle and he agreed with me on this. So now I'm talking to you about this, before I approach Bella.

"I think Bella should see a counselor about what happened. I understand she won't be able to talk about certain things but sometimes it helps to talk to someone who isn't closely related to the situation."

I sighed I knew it was something that would come up but I really didn't want to think about it. I don't think Bella will be okay with this, but I was willing to breech the subject if there was a possibility of it helping her get over this. "Mommy I don't think she'll agree to that but I'm willing to present her with the option. You know as well as me that she's an extremely private person. It'll be hard to convince her that it's a good idea let alone get her to go. I'll definitely try though."

"I know it'll be hard to convince her at first but it would be extremely beneficial."

"I know and I'll talk to her about it, but just me first then I'll bring her to talk with you and Carlisle."

She smiled at me then. "Okay sweet heart, go get back to your Bella. She's probably waiting for you."

I hugged Esme and made a beeline for the house. I opened the door and found Bella on the couch trying to get her guitar controller from Emmett and having no luck. I bounded really quickly onto the back of the couch and over Emmett's shoulders snatching the controller, and landing on my feet in a crouch. I stood up and handed my Bella her controller with a kiss to her cheek.

She had a dazed smile on her face. "Thanks, Babe" I giggled at her expression.

"Hey I was playing with that." Emmett whined I giggled and Rosalie replied to him, "That's what she said!" Emmett pouted and then turned back to the game I sat next to Bella.

"So, Princess, how are you?" she blushed at my nick name for her and smiled softly.

"I'm great. I thought it would be hard being here but it's been a blast like nothing's changed. Emmett's still a goof ball, Rosalie is still bored, and Esme still feeds me like I weigh seven hundred pounds. I'm good. How r u pixie" I flinched at that nickname, and rolled my eyes.

"Not you too, Bella. That damn name has been the stitch in my side ever since I can remember. If you care about my sanity at all you will refrain from call me that. Please!" I pouted.

She giggled at me. "But babe you really do look like a pixie. And the name is adorable just like you. Really you won't be my pixie." She made her brown eyes big and her bottom lip poked out. I couldn't stay mad, I was never really mad anyway.

"So you play on my emotions and the fact that I can barely ever say no to you. You're so lucky I love you." I smiled at her and she kissed me and said, "Don't I know it!" I kissed her again.

I heard Emmett and Rosalie snickering in the background. Rosalie started speaking then effectively breaking up our moment. "Okay, okay, enough with the sappiness. I have surprised for the two of you!" I had a super shocked look on my face how could she surprise me. I mean come on I'm me.

"What kind of surprise and why didn't I see it. "You two are more alike then I realized gosh. If I tell you it won't be a surprise and it wasn't hard to get my decisions past you. You've been over- pre-occupied with your favorite human play thing. Now would you both come on so I can show you what I got you? Alice first because she'll eventually see it and it won't be a surprise anymore."

She got up and headed towards upstairs. We followed and ended up in front of the largest guest bedroom. The door had been painted my favorite shade of lavender, and my name in a pretty bright blue. "Rose what did you do?"

"Well, Emmett told me why you took Bella to the museum that day and I know how much you love dancing and music so I put those together and came up with this." She opened the door and my eyes got huge. It was perfect.

The room was divided into three sections one section had paints and brushes and pencils and canvases and sketch books. Then there was a large section of the wall covered in full mirrors and the floor in front of it in freshly polished wood there were stretch bars and a small clothing rack with different dance clothes and shoes lined up on it. The last section was against the back wall there was a large white piano with my name in script across it in the same lavender that adorned the door, there was an acoustic guitar on a stand and an electric guitar posted up against some amps and beside it was a drum set. On one side of the piano there was a violin and flute case.

I couldn't believe it. It was the greatest surprise ever. I'd never been so ecstatic and speechless at the same time. I ran and tackled Rose. I hugged her as tight as possible. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. It's amazing I love it."

I couldn't believe she took the time and effort to put all this together for me. I let go of Rose and ran over to the acoustic. I picked it up and strummed it lightly the sound was so pretty. I continued to get lost in the music I hadn't even noticed that rose and Bella left.

**Bella's POV**

Rose and I watched My Alice get caught in her music. She looked so amazing that way. Doing something she loved. Rose came and tapped me on the shoulder. Come on let me show you, your present. I reluctantly followed her away from my pixie. I could have stood there watching her all day. We went down stairs and outside. I wasn't sure what to expect. She led me to the garage and opened it we walked in and she flipped the light switch.

"So I know it was Emmett's fault that your truck got messed up and I felt bad, which doesn't happen often. Anyway, I found someone selling an exact replica of your truck but it needed extreme work. So I took the truck they had, bought all new parts and built you a new engine did a brand new paint job and a few extra things an now I give you this. She pulled the cover off a large car shaped thing in the corner and I was in love.

I had my truck back but and it was ten times better. I don't know what to say. I walked around the car admiring it. I got to the back and where the model name would be it there was a shiny silver plate with my name on it.

I continued around the truck until I end up back in front of Rosalie. I hugged her and thanked her over and over again. She hugged me back.

"I'll go get Alice and together you two can go for a ride." She was about to leave when I stopped her. "Let her enjoy her music I want to drive by myself for a while. She can catch up to me when she's ready." She smile at me and handed me the keys and I hopped in and turned the ignition she purred at me. I couldn't wait to drive her. I pulled out of the driveway and just drove with no destination in mind and none of the bad thoughts that had plagued me as of late. I just felt at peace.


	22. Forgive & Be Pressured

Chapter 20

**Bella POV**

I drove down the road that led me back to my house. I kept going past it and towards my school and the center of my small town. I came up on the school parking lot and noted the emptiness I pulled in and circled the lot I drove doing all different kinds of turns since there was nothing for me to crash into. I hit a sharp u-turn, flooring the gas and the break at the same time I turned the wheel hard to the left and the car spun in a circle about five times before I released the gas and finally put the car in park.

To say I was in love with my new truck is would be an understatement! It started to get dark and I could actually see the stars as it was an unusually clear night for forks. I got out the driver's seat and climbed in to the back. I sat staring up at the stars.

This is the first time I had felt completely peaceful in weeks. I started to think about my relationship with Alice. My tiny little pixie has done any and everything in her power to make me happy and keep me safe. I know I love her I do but I still haven't said it yet. I can see that it hurts her every time she says it and I don't say it back. She tries to keep me from seeing her pain but I know.

My Alice she's so strong and fragile at the same time. She doesn't want anyone too see her upset and vulnerable but she can't hide it from me. I see behind her façade I know she hides her pain and hurt behind a mask of calm and happy. I feel like such a hypocrite trying to tell her to talk about the things that bother her especially since every time she tries to get me to open up to her I shut down. I know she feels like I don't trust her but I do I'm just not ready to talk about everything yet.

Thinking about Alice so much has me wishing she was here with me. I was dialing Alice when I heard my name shouted.

"BELLA!"

I dropped my phone and my head whipped in the direction of the voice. "What do you want?" I sneered.

He came up to the truck in his normal attire cut off shorts and nothing else. I swear this kid is allergic to proper clothes. He climbed into the back of the truck and sat in front of me "Bells I'm sorry. I was an asshole and I shouldn't have said what I said, any of it."

I sighed at the intruder. "Jake you really hurt my feelings. You're supposed to be my one of best friends and I couldn't even count on you when I needed you most."

"Bells I know and –"

"No Jake I don't think you do! You have no idea why I was so upset that day or why Alice was so upset that day. It goes beyond your words of immature jealousy. Do you remember why you came over in the first place?" I stared at him intently waiting on an answer. Fury blazing in my eyes he didn't understand just how badly timed his words were or how harsh they came across given the situation I was dealing with and still am dealing with.

He looked taken aback by the look on my face but answered my question just the same. "I came to see if the bloodsucker had really left."

"You remember the reaction to that question from Alice?" he shook his head "Did you ever stop to think about why Alice reacted so strongly?"

"Yeah but you never told me because –"

"Because you were tossed out of my window for being a jerk."

"Will you tell me now I'm here and listening and I promise not to be a jerk this time?" He looked at me sheepishly and I really couldn't stay too angry with him. I sighed and braced myself for the onslaught of emotions. I proceeded to tell him about the incident with Alice and how Edward reacted and what he did. I was crying by the time I finished everything and Jake looked murderous.

His voice was deadly when he spoke "I'll kill him. I'm going to kill him and there's nothing you can say to stop me."

"I don't care what happens to him. Maybe if he's dead I can get my life back. I could stop being so scared all the time. Stop feeling so lost. I could tell the girl I love how I feel about her. Open up and show her I trust her without the fear of getting hurt. I really do love her Jake and I know she loves me she tells me all the time and I can see it hurts her when I don't say it back. But I just can't yet the last person I said that to hurt me really bad. I trust that she won't hurt me but I can't show her how much because I'm scared of getting hurt."

We sat there staring at each other for a while before Jake spoke again. "Bells I just wanted to say sorry for what I said I realize how hurtful what I said was and I'm really, really sorry. I'm not even mad at the sprite for throwing me out the way she did. I deserved it." He looked down ashamed.

"I forgive you Jake" he smiled softly.

"Look bells I'm not an expert on these things but given the reaction she had to what I said and the extent to which she went to protect and defend you from my words alone I can tell she loves you, let her help you through this.

"But what happens when she gets tired of me being all emo. I feel like I keep shutting her out and eventually she's going to get tired of me and leave."

"Bells I don't think she intends to leave you anytime soon. I can see how much you care about her just from the way you talk about her and I'm sure the emotions are much stronger with her in your presence. I sure she can see your feelings and understands the situation way better than I do. So don't beat yourself up over it just talk to her. And besides if you two don't work out you could always just come back over the fence and be with me." He had a sly smirk on and wiggled her eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes at that part "you jerk" we both chuckled at that. It was quiet again before Jake broke the silence again. "Umm… Bells… I was just wondering why you were sitting in your school parking lot, in the back of your truck, by yourself. Not to be judgmental but that's a little weird."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't keep the laugh from escaping. "You're an ass u know that!"

He laughed with me. "I know but you love me for it most of the time. But seriously though why are you sitting out here alone?"

"I was driving my new truck and saw the empty lot I pulled in and was driving around the lot then I just parked and I was enjoying my first peaceful moment before I was interrupted by this immature loser I know."

"Whatever I'm the coolest dude you know." I rolled my eyes. He sounded just like Emmett.

His eyes shifted to something behind me then back to me. "Listen Bells I gotta go. I'm supposed to be patrolling and I need to let the wolves know that the bloodsucker isn't allowed back in the area. Beside you're… umm… girl…umm… vampire is here. She's waiting for me to leave. Come by the rez sometime, Quil and Embry miss you" he had a wolfish grin on his face as he said that. He winked and hopped out the truck and started towards the tree line.

I shook my head. Then I realized what he said I turned my head to look for my pixie. When I turned back she was sitting in front of me. "I wish you wouldn't do that."

She smiled at me. "I can't help it if I'm awesome."

I rolled my eyes at that. I held my arms open for her. She giggled and came to sit in front of me and leaned into my body. "So Rosalie replaced your truck. How do you like it?"

I wrapped my arms around her slight frame and pulled her close. "I love it. It's ten times better than my old one but it still has the same feel."

She giggled at my words. "Glad you like it." I pressed my nose against her hair inhaling her smell. She smells so good all the time. Like strawberries, vanilla, and wild flowers. We sat in silence for awhile me just enjoying having Alice in my arms.

Alice broke the silence. Her voice came across soft and slightly hesitant which captured my attention. "Bella … I… No never mind." She put her head down and fidgeted with her fingers a human habit she had picked up from me.

"Baby what is it? Your fidgeting and you barely ever fidget. Talk to me."

She turned in my arms so she was facing me. "Bells do you feel pressured at all by me? Because, I would hate it if you did. I never want you to feel like that. I want us to always have a mutual understanding of each other and –"

I was so confused by where all this was coming from and I had to interrupt her. "Baby… Baby, please slow down. Where is all this coming from? I don't feel pressured into anything."

She looked down avoiding my gaze, "well it's just… please promise me you won't get mad."

I took her face in my hands, to look into her eyes. "Babe I promise. Talk to me, what's wrong?

She took a deep breath and started talking. "well… see you called me earlier and I answered and there was no answer I was going to hang up but I heard talking and it was you and Jacob and I heard everything you said to him about the asshole and then about us and the things you couldn't tell me and I know I should have hung up but I just couldn't bring myself to end the call and I'm really, really sorry. I know it was an invasion of privacy and it will never happen again." She finished looking down at her hands which showed her nervousness the best. And judging by the way she couldn't keep them still she was on the extreme nervous side.

I didn't really know how to feel. I had forgotten all about my phone with the shock of seeing Jacob. I figured we needed to talk about this but I wasn't really sure if I was ready yet. "So you heard everything?" I questioned softly. She only nodded. I decided that I would talk to her but not here. It felt to open and public which made me feel vulnerable. I stood up and hopped over the side of the car landing on my feet, which was an amazing feat for me considering how clumsy I usually am.

I walked around to the driver's side; I looked back and noticed she was still sitting in the bed of my truck. "Hey Beautiful, you coming or what?" her head shot up and I couldn't help but smile at the sparkle in her eye. Just knowing I caused that reaction in her makes me extremely giddy.

She sped over to the passenger side and I hopped in the driver's side. I looked at her and she met my gaze expectantly. "I'm not mad that you heard everything. A little upset that you had to hear it that way but it helps that you heard it. It makes it a little bit easier to explain what I meant and have this specific discussion."

I turned the key and we made our way back to my house in silence both contemplating the things that were to be said and heard with this upcoming discussion.


	23. Hurt Feelings

**A/N: sorry for the long wait. life got in the way. i hope i still haver some readers out there. and anyone ho hasn't should go check out my lemon on shot. it's Bellice A**/**H and its titled Birthday Sex.**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own them *tears*  
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**Chap21**

**Alice POV**

I followed Bella to the kitchen table I sat down and she took a seat across from me. I sat there waiting for her to speak. The silence was killing me; I waited for about ten minutes before I spoke up, the silence becoming unbearable.

"Baby… say something, please. The silence is making me anxious." She looked up at me apologetically.

"Sorry Sprite. Just tryna figure out how to say this, and where to start." She looked at me apologetically.

"Princess take your time and say it how you feel I'll be able to follow, I'm a smart girl."

She rolled her eyes at that. Then took a deep breath to collect her thoughts and started speaking. "Listen I don't want you to think you're pressuring me into anything. I love being with you. These last few weeks have been so much easier on me than they could have been, and that's because of you. You make me happy and I hope I do the same."

I smiled at her then. "Princess you do make me happy. I'm a free spirit you know that and I don't stay in any situation I don't wanna be in. I love you and I _want_ to be with you."

She sighed, "I know you wanna be with me but how long will that last if I can't tell you those words and keep pushing you away. And it's not like I mean to do it. It just happens and I'm sorry it happens because I know it hurts you when I push you away or don't say _I love you_ when you say it so freely. I'm – I'm just really scared of being hurt again." I made a motion to interrupt but she continued speaking before I could.

"I know you won't hurt me Sprite. I really do but it doesn't eradicate the fear in my heart. And it's not your fault but it's there and I'm sorry that you're experiencing the repercussions but I can't seem to get over it." By the time she spoke her final words she was fighting back tears. And I couldn't help it I had to move over to her. I knelt down in front of her and took her clasped hands in mine, kissing the back of her hands before speaking.

"Princess…" I waited for her to look at me before speaking. "I'm never going get tired of being with you. I love you. Now I won't lie, I wish you would say it back but I don't expect it. I can wait for you until you're ready. I have all the time in the world, immortal remember." She cracked a smile which on its own made me smile. "I know you're having a hard time right now, and all I want to do is help you. I want to help you feel better. I want to understand your pain and help you through it but I can't if you won't talk to me but I won't push you into anything. Although I will say I do think you should talk to somebody. If not me, then someone else, please."

She looked at me as if she wasn't sure how she wanted to react. "Are you saying I should see a shrink?"

"Well it might help. At least Esme and Carlisle think it could and I agree with them. Babe seeing a counselor isn't that bad. I've seen one before. Trust me it helps."

She dropped my hands quickly and pulled back from me. "I'm not seeing a counselor, psychologist, shrink or whatever you want to call it. I'm not crazy and I don't want to see a head doctor."

I sighed; I knew it was going to be hard to persuade her to go. "Princess, please listen to me. It may be easier for you to speak with someone who doesn't know anything about the situation and holds no bias feelings. I promise you it's not that bad." I pleaded with her but the hard mask she wore seemed impenetrable.

"I'm not doing it! Just because everyone already thinks you're weird or crazy because you can see the future doesn't mean I want the same said for me." I flinched at the harshness of her response.

I managed to keep the anger at bay but the hurt I felt was a different story. "I'm sorry I suggested it. I just thought it would help. Just so you know I don't like people thinking I'm crazy but I learned to accept it, and my future seeing has saved you life a few time if I do remember correctly." I got up to leave. "I know you didn't mean for it to come out like that but it still hurt. I need some time to myself. I'll be back later." I disappeared out the room.

**Bella's POV**

"ALICE! I'm sorry…" I said, but she was already gone. I really hadn't meant to say that but I couldn't take it back. It hurts me to know that I hurt my wonderful little pixie especially since she was only trying to help me. I don't even know why I went off the way I did. I just don't like the idea of opening myself up to a stranger, for them to judge me but still I shouldn't have taken it out on my Pixie.

I heard the sound of screeching tires outside and went to check, hoping it was Alice so I could apologize. Before I made it to the living room, a very livid Rosalie was standing before me, with her famous glare in place.

"What the hell did you do to her? And don't say 'nothing' because my little sister doesn't cry over nothing." She was seething eyes glowering at me.

"Rose I'm sorry I - I didn't mean to say it. It just slipped out and now she probably hates me." I felt my tears start to burn in my eyes but I held them back.

"Isabella what did you say to her? There aren't many things that will cause her pain so you had to have struck a nerve." She was looking at me like I had offended her, and in a way I guess I had. By hurting My Sprite, someone close to her I had committed a crime in her eyes.

"We were having a disagreement and I told her that just because she was thought of as crazy I didn't want to be thought of like that. But Rose, you gotta know I didn't mean it. It was a lash out at the moment. I would never hurt her." I could feel my tears spill over but I wiped them as fast as they came I don't deserve to cry over this.

"Dammit Bella why would you say that to her, knowing how she feels about her power. I warned you not to push her to far away didn't I, but you didn't listen. I don't understand knowing about the things in her past why would you say that of all things?" I stared at Rose like she had grown two heads.

"What are you talking about she doesn't remember anything from her human life." Rose looked at me as if she was trying to figure me out.

"She hasn't told you has she? " She sighed and shook her head pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Told me what? Rose you're not making sense." Rose looked up at me but the glare was gone.

"Listen Bella I can't explain this to you, it's not my place but it was a really bad move on your part. Just apologize and talk to her. Why did you say that anyway, what were the two of you arguing about anyway?"

"She wants me to see a shrink and I don't want to."

"Why not? What's wrong with talking to someone about what you're going through? It'll help you cope way better than you're doing now. Unless your idea of coping is lashing out at the people around you who love you and are only trying to help you." She stated with a knowing look.

"Have you gone to counseling before?"

"Yes I have actually. I've done one on one counseling, group sessions, and couples therapy. The only one that didn't work out was group therapy. A small space with a group of humans… yeah not the ideal situation for a vampire." She had a contemplative look on her face.

"Do you think I should do it?" I asked her curious as to her opinion.

"What I think doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel. I know you're having a hard time dealing but it's not going to get better if you bottle it up inside. Do you believe you're really handling this properly?" she arched her eyebrow and looked at me waiting for my answer although she knew what it was

"Look I know I'm not handling this right but I really don't know how to handle this okay. I admit it I need help but I don't like accepting it. It makes me feel weak I don't like feeling that way." I held my head down in shame.

Rose came and sat next to me. "Bella it doesn't make you weak if you accept help it only makes you smart enough to know that you need it and brave for trying to get it." She made me look at her. "Bella I can relate to what you're going through only too well. I know the feelings you're having trust me pushing her away isn't the answer. She only wants to help just try letting her in, and think about doing the counseling, please."

I nodded my head in agreement. I had a lot to think about until My Sprite came back to me. I hope it's soon.


	24. Past Present and Future

**I have excuses but you probably don't want them so i'm just gonna run before you can pelt me with rotten veggies.  
**

* * *

**Chap22**

**Alice POV**

There are moments, very few, but moments when I hate being a vampire. This happened to be one of them. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I wanted to shed tears and release the built up frustrations and stress of the past few weeks.

I love the hell out of Bella but she keeps pushing me away and making me feel useless. What she said tonight was harsh and although I know she didn't mean it, it still burned my soul that the one person that I love was the one to hurt me.

I reached the house and walked passed rose and Emmett sitting curled up in the family room. They looked up at my arrival and both knew something was wrong. I made to go to my room but Emmett was standing directly in front of me before I could reach the stairs.

"What's wrong Kitty?" he stared at me with an expectant concerned look on his face. I just wrapped my arms around him and started dry sobbing. It was the only form of sorrow I could show.

"Ali what's wrong? Why are you crying?" rose asked all I could get out was 'Bella" in between sobs.

I could hear the panic in her voice. "Is she hurt?"

I shook my head but continued sobbing. I heard her let out a relived sigh. "Well what happened?" I just shook my head again, and kept holding onto my giant teddy bear taking comfort in his arms.

Sensing that I wasn't gonna talk right now she told Emmett to stay with me and she left I guess going to Bella to get the story.

Emmett ushered me over to the couch and sat with me until I calmed down. My sobs quieted and then we just sat in silence.

After a long period of time he finally broke the silence. "Kitty, do you wanna talk about it?"

"Emmett, why does it hurt so much? Words never used to hurt me why do they hurt so much now?" I sniffed.

"Kitty, words always hurt it just depends on who says them and what is said. The right words coupled with the right person saying them and it can be enough to shatter the strongest vampire. Would you like to tell me what Bella said to you that's wounded you so deeply?"

"Sh… she called me crazy and told me she didn't wanna be like me." I wrapped my arms around Emmett again. "Teddy my girlfriend hates me and she thinks I'm a freak. What if she doesn't really want to be with me she just felt obligated to be with me? She feels bad for me because she knows I like her. She hates seeing anyone sad and she probably didn't want me to feel bad because she didn't return my feelings. Oh god Teddy I pushed my feelings onto her."

My ramblings were stopped by Emmett's chuckling. I growled I can't believe he's laughing at me. "WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY?"

"It's just that well I never realized how alike we are. You really are my sister." He said still chuckling.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm your sister. And why the hell are you still laughing at me?" I said incredulously.

He shook his head. "No… I mean… Look I wasn't laughing at you. What you said just know I've had those same thoughts and doubts. I want you to listen to me really listen to me not just hear me. Okay?" he waited for me to give him my assurance. I nodded my head and he continued talking.

"She doesn't hate you she's lashing out and pushing you away because she doesn't want to be hurt again. Logically she knows you won't hurt her but emotionally she's not certain of anything at the moment. She likes you; I don't know why but she does." I hit him in the chest.

He laughed. "Seriously though, don't give up on her, she needs you and believe it or not, a large part of you need her. That's why what she said hurt so much. Now my question to you is does she know why you were so hurt, because I mean come on we all know you're a bit off." I hit him again.

"Emmett you're not funny at all. Sei uno stronzo di grandi dimensioni." He laughed heartily.

"You know there are so many jokes I can make to that comment right but I won't. So what exactly did happen?"

I sighed. "Bella and I were talking about us and our relationship and I brought up her seeing a counselor and she got angry. I tried to assure her that it wasn't a bad thing to talk to someone but she didn't see it that way."

"Sooo… what you're saying is you asked her to see somebody to talk about everything and she's not ready to admit she needs to talk yet so she lashed out and hurt your feelings? I think I got it."

"I guess so." It didn't really sound so epic when he said like that. "But it sound less epic when you say it. Plus it just hit a weak spot for me considering the stuff I've been remembering" his eyes got incredibly wide.

"Kitty you remember stuff from your past? Since when?" he was vibrating with excitement. I think he may be more excited about than I am.

"I've had a few 'visions' I guess but they weren't of the future they were of the past. They've only come when I was lying with Bella holding her as she slept."

"This is major; why didn't you tell us?" he seemed truly confused.

"They weren't good memories and I was still coming to terms with it myself. I told Rosalie because she was with me the last time I hunted and I was contemplating the latest vision/memory and she wouldn't let up about what had me so down, so I told her in hopes of her letting me think quietly."

He nodded his head, knowing that his wife could be persistent when she wanted to be. "So what were the memories about?"

"The first ones were just a dark room and different voices screaming. Then there was what I can only guess is me when I was smaller in a white padded room. Then it was an older me same room curled in a corner it looked like I was scared of something. I think I was place in an asylum when I was young. I can't really hear anything in the memories other than the first one and that the one that causes me the most confusion because I have no idea what's going on in it."

"Wait so if you're just telling me and you said only Rosalie knew before this that means Bella doesn't yet? Meaning she probably doesn't understand why you got so upset at what she said,"

"So you're saying I'm over reacting?" I questioned.

"Not necessarily overacting… but you do need to help her understand why what she said affected you so badly."

"You know teddy, smart is a good look for you." I smiled at him. And he ruffled my hair.

"So does that mean you're going to talk to her now?"

"I'm going to hunt first I'll go over after I finish."

He shook his head at me. "Hoping to get there after she's sleep? Never thought I'd see the day the little vampire is scared of the little human."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Not scared just emotionally tired. I just want a peaceful night and all the other stuff can come later."

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It was about one in the morning when I arrived back at Bella's house. Rosalie was still there she was on the laptop when I arrived and Bella was sitting up in bed writing in her journal. I thought she would have been sleeping but she was wide awake.

I saw Rosalie look up at the window then move to give Bella a hug. "Where are you going Rose?" My angel asked.

"It seems you bed partner has returned and while I enjoy your company I would like to get back to my bed partner. "She smiled and winked at my Bella. Bella smiled and it seemed like my chest lightened considerably.

Rose climbed out the window and hopped to the branch I was on. "Don't be too hard on her. She loves you even if she hasn't realized it yet. You need to talk to her not tonight though. Tonight just hold her and let her know she hasn't lost you." And like that Rose was gone.

I hoped onto the window ledge and slid through the window. "ALICE! You came back!" she looked like she wanted to jump up and hug me but wasn't sure if she should.

I moved over to sit beside her on her bed. "I told you I would be. Haven't you learned not to bet against me yet?" I smiled at her I just couldn't be mad at her.

"I know but you were so upset and I'm so sorry I didn't-" I kissed her to stop her talking. I let myself get lost in the kiss and she melted against me. I wrapped my arms around her needing to feel her slight frame in my arms. As I broke the kiss I felt her slim arms wrap tightly around me.

"Ali, please, don't leave me. I'm so sorry about what I said I wanted to take it back as soon as I said it. I really didn't mean to hurt you."

I breathe in her scent letting it soothe me in a way nothing else could. "Baby be quiet, I'm not going anywhere. I love you too much to leave you. I know you didn't mean to hurt me but like I said it still did. But we can talk about why tomorrow. For now I just want to spend the night holding you and being held by you. Can you do that?"

She smiled at me. "Yeah I think that sounds pretty easy."

I laid her down, turned off her light and lay with her. "So why were you still up? Rosalie keep you awake or were you waiting for me?"

"Waiting for you. I've gotten used to you being next to me when I sleep." she snuggled closer to me and I ran my hand down her side. She shivered from that.

"How'd you know I'd be back tonight?" I said teasingly.

"I didn't know but I hoped. I was really scared you wouldn't though." She said sleepily.

"Well I'm here now so you don't have to worry about anything go to sleep now baby I'll be here when you wake up." I lightly kissed her lips and she sighed before relaxing against me and drifting off. "I love you Bella"

"Lov yu lis" I stopped all movements. I know she was already sleep but it's the first time she's told me that she loves me and no matter what the circumstances I would cherish this moment, even if she probably wouldn't remember it in the morning.

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**Sorry if it sucked trying to get back into writing this. Will try to update more frequently.**


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